


you're the pulse that i've always needed

by hilourry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blowjobs, Cheating, Dildos, Don't worry, Feminization, Fluff, It's so minimal, M/M, Riding, Rimming, Toys, Vibrators, and it's not between louis and harry, but not a lot, it's endgame louis/harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 16:15:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2658353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilourry/pseuds/hilourry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Liam are law students at Yale University. Louis is a dance major at NYU along with his best friends Zayn and Niall. Harry wants Louis, but Liam gets to him first. And no, Harry definitely doesn't love his best friend's boyfriend. </p><p>(He sort of does)</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're the pulse that i've always needed

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [you're the pulse that i've always needed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4119106) by [malishka1011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/malishka1011/pseuds/malishka1011)



“How do you know this guy again?” Harry asks, throwing on a t-shirt and grabbing his wallet, shoving it into the back pocket of his black skinnies. 

“We went to high school together,” Liam says. “He’s cool, I promise. Always throws the best parties.”

“And we have to travel all the way to the city for this?”

“I think we both need a break from studying, actually, and I’m going to force you to come out with me until you relax. School’s barely started and you’re already tense,” Liam scolds. “The train ride isn’t even an hour. Gives you time to clear your head, too.”

“Alright, fine,” Harry sighs. Liam and Harry have been roommates at Yale University since freshman year, and now that they’ve just begun their junior year and they’re both studying to become lawyers, everything is a lot more stressful. It used to be Harry dragging Liam out of their dorm room to go have a good time, and maybe Harry was too bad an influence on him. 

Tonight, Liam is making him go all the way to New York University for a party hosted by his friend Zayn. He’s some super talented artist or something with an allegedly sick apartment that his roommate’s dad bought for them. But maybe Liam is right, maybe Harry needs some time away from their apartment to just have a good time, maybe even get laid. He hasn’t done that in a while, so, yeah, it can’t be that bad.  
~  
“Holy shit,” Harry says, walking into the apartment. “This place is…shit, this guy must be loaded.”

“Zayn’s got it made,” Liam laughs. “He definitely befriended the right guy, that’s for sure. C’mon, let’s go find him.”

Harry gets pulled through the huge crowd there, smelling of alcohol and weed. There’s sweaty bodies everywhere grinding on whoever and whatever they find, it seems. It looks like all sexualities are totally cool here, though, judgment free. Harry finds two girls by the bar with their hands under each other tops and sucking face. There’s two guys grinding together obscenely to the right of him, and it seems that everyone is so chilled out. Harry wishes he could be more like them. At Yale, people are usually a bit narrow-minded.

“Zayn!” Liam calls. An incredibly, unfairly looking guy turns out and smiles brightly, pulling Liam in for a hug.

“Hey, you made it! How’ve you been?” Zayn says, clapping him on the back.

“Great, yeah. This is Harry, my roommate,” Liam says over the blaring music.

“Nice to meet you,” Zayn says.

“Yeah, you too. Great place!” Harry yells. 

“Yeah, I would introduce you to my roommate, but he’s always running off. I can’t ever keep track of him, he’s got too much energy!” Zayn laughs. “You’ll see him around.”

“I’m gonna grab a drink,” Harry announces, leaving the two men to catch up. He pushes past people to reach the bar set up in the living room and makes himself a drink. 

“There you are!” A voice yells, hands on Harry’s waist and tugging him around. Harry turns with furrowed eyebrows and has to look down to meet the piercing blue eyes that are staring up at him. “You’re not Niall.”

“I’m not,” Harry confirms with a shake of his head. “Harry.”

“You might be better than Niall, actually. Louis,” he grins, eyes crinkling. 

“Louis?” Harry asks. It isn’t exactly a common name for a New Yorker. 

“French,” Louis rolls his eyes. “My parents had some obsession with the country after their honeymoon there. They figured, ‘why not fuck our son up and give him a French name so for the rest of his life people will say his name incorrectly?’ So here we are,” Louis explains. He’s more than a bit drunk, but Harry could use some fun.

“I’ll try to remember that,” Harry gives him a firm nod. 

“Wanna dance?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Harry says, and Louis’ hand is gripping his quickly, pulling him onto the dance floor and making his way to the middle. Most eyes are on him, actually, the small, curvy body that looks like it can really move in a way Harry can only dream of.

“I’m a dance major, y’know, so it’s okay if you can’t keep up,” Louis winks at Harry, turning around and grinding on him, hips circling obscenely, and the dip of his back pornographic. Harry is pretty sure Louis is practically giving him a lap dance. Maybe he’s a stripper on the side: he definitely has the body and the looks for it. Okay, no, he needs to stop thinking. He’s here to forget everything and live in the moment and have fun for once. He grabs Louis’ hips and tries to move with him, and definitely tries not to get hard.

“You’re really good,” Harry says into his ear.

“I know,” Louis turns his neck to face him, grinning wickedly. “Told you I was. Never doubt me.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know better,” Harry laughs.

They only get to dance to a few songs before Louis is running off to the bathroom with a quick apology and a promise of being right back. Harry waits, and waits, and then at least four songs play and Louis still isn’t back yet. And, really, how long does it take to pee? Plus, this is Louis’ house, he knows his way around. Maybe he ran into his friends and forgot about Harry. Maybe he just wasn’t memorable enough, or maybe saying he had to go to the bathroom was an excuse to finally get away from Harry. Fuck.

Harry sighs and gives up on waiting when another three songs play and Louis is nowhere to be seen. It shouldn’t be a big deal, and it’s not, because they just met, and they only know each other’s names. He can find someone else. Or he can just tell Liam he’s tired and wants to go home. Maybe that’s a better plan.

He pushes past the crowd of people in search for Liam, and he can tell him from the back of his head, at this point. A full two years of living together in tiny dorm rooms and another year of living in the same apartment really forces you to get to know a person. Plus, Liam always sleeps facing the wall, giving Harry a clear shot of the back of his head across the room. And he knows this back of the head is definitely Liam, and he’s 99.9% positive that the boy wrapped around him is his Louis. Well, not really _his_ , they just fucking met, but still. That’s who Harry was aiming for, and now Liam is shoving his tongue down his throat and he’s got him pinned to the wall. Fuck Liam for being so hot.

Harry really doesn’t feel like interrupting. Louis will probably apologize for leaving him or say something stupid, and Liam will try to convince Harry to stay, but he’s really not in the mood for that. He’d rather go home and continue watching Breaking Bad on Netflix and maybe binge on the rest of the ice cream he stored in the back of the freezer. 

He turns on his heels and heads out the door without a glance back.  
~  
Liam comes back late the next morning, his hair a bit disheveled with tired eyes, but he’s almost fucking glowing with that I-Just-Got-Laid aura around him. Asshole.

“Good night?” Harry asks, trying his hardest to hold back the bitterness in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah, great,” Liam grins, falling into bed and grabbing his laptop. “Think I’ve got a boyfriend.”

“What?” Harry asks, eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. Liam doesn’t do boyfriends or girlfriends. He does one-night stands with strangers and then never calls them again. He’s one of those guys; one of those guys Harry could never be. He’s too nice (and too clingy) for that sort of ordeal. He’s in it for the long haul.

“Yeah, I don’t even know how it happened,” Liam laughs. “It’s Zayn’s roommate! Louis came over to talk to Zayn while I was with him and Louis and I just started talking and I don’t even know how it happened but we danced a little and then made out for a while against the wall in the corner of the room. So strange, but then he asked me back to his room, and I’m never one to turn down a good thing, and this guy is so fuckin’ hot, H, I swear. So, yeah, this morning I woke up, and he’s fucking making me breakfast. Like, no one has ever done that for me. It’s always an awkward goodbye or I try to sneak out, but he just kissed me and smiled. So, I don’t know, I guess we’re trying it out.”

“Wow, that’s, uh,” Harry starts, fumbling for words. What is he supposed to say about this? Does he admit that he knows Louis or pretend they’ve never met? But what if Harry meets Louis and Louis tells Liam he remembers him and then Harry is caught in a lie? Or, fuck, what if Louis doesn’t even remember him at all when Harry says he does? Jesus Christ, Harry needs to stop thinking. This is so stupid.

“That’s great, Li,” Harry settles. “I met him briefly last night. Seems nice. I hope it works out for you.”

“Yeah, thanks, man,” Liam grins. “Hot, isn’t he? Jesus, he was so good.”

“Yeah, yeah, he is. Well, so is Zayn. Guess there’s a requirement in that apartment to be pretty,” Harry says, trying to make a joke. Lame, as usual. 

“Too bad Zayn is straight, sorry,” Liam smirks at him. “I’d set you up, then we could go on double dates, but. I do want you to meet Louis, though. He knows the city like the back of his hand, so we could go somewhere there. Born and raised in Manhattan.”

“That’s great,” Harry says. He definitely already said that, but he doesn’t have much else to say. “I’ll, uh, yeah, sounds like fun.”

It doesn’t sound like fun, and a week later when they all go out to Carmine’s in the city, Harry sees that he is right. Or maybe he’s just bitter and stubborn.

When they meet Louis, Zayn, and their friend Niall at Louis and Zayn’s place, it’s clear that Louis remember Harry right when the door swings open. His eyes widen and he’s coughing awkwardly, blushing delicately. 

“Oh, hi, Harry,” he says softly, looking down at his feet. He looks so nice, with his white jeans and grey cotton t-shirt. He looks delicious, actually, way better than nice. How the fuck did Liam get this lucky. Life is so unfair, Harry decides. 

“Hey,” Harry says, forcing himself to be casual. “Nice to see you again.”

“Uh, yeah, you too.”

Liam wraps his arm around Louis’ waist and drops a chaste kiss to his lips. Louis grins up at him shyly and fits himself into Liam’s side.

“Hey, babe,” Liam says softly.

“Hey,” Louis replies in a whisper. 

“Where are we going for dinner?” Harry asks, maybe too loud and brash. He doesn’t need to see his best friend newly coupled up while he’s still alone. Fuck, he needs to get laid. 

“Carmine’s,” Louis says with a bright smile. “Italian family style restaurant. It’s awesome. They give you so much food and you all share it. Zayn, Niall, and I always go.”

“I’ll trust you with this, then,” Liam laughs. 

“You better,” Louis grins, pinching his side. “You’ll love it. Don’t know how much kissing we can do after, though. They put mouthwash in the bathrooms because their food is so garlicky.”

“I’ll have to kiss you as much as I can before we go then,” Liam says smugly. 

“Hate to break you up,” Niall says loudly. “But I’m starving and I’m not waiting. So you either stay here and fuck while I go with these guys, or you deal with it later. Either way, I’m leaving now.”

Harry definitely likes this guy. Niall is already leaving the apartment and Harry follows without another word, because if Louis and Liam are going to hang back and fuck, Harry is going to go stuff his face with garlicky Italian food. Zayn is hot on his heels and he hears Louis giggle and murmur something to Liam before they’re finally following along as well. 

Harry ends up smushed between the wall and Louis, and that doesn’t help anything. His cheeks are a nice rosy pink from the glass of red wine he’s sipping and giggling happily over nothing. Harry danced with him _once_ , but he’s basically attached already. Maybe Harry is just lonely and jealous, but Louis is so fucking cute. He’s got this grace about him while still being firm. On their way there, Louis was pushing past people without a glance and moving with purpose. Harry has never been able to be that way; he’s too concerned with being polite and not upsetting people, but this is New York City. He’s been so sheltered in his cozy suburban lifestyle, but Louis is this loud, brash, fearless city boy. How fucking cliché. 

“This chicken parm,” Liam says after a large mouthful of food. “is the best thing I have ever eaten.”

“Does that include me?” Louis whispers smugly. Harry is trying to eat, thanks, and he’d rather not gag at such a fancy place.

“Maybe not that good,” Liam grins, his hand disappearing under the table. 

“Gross, I’m eating,” Zayn grumbles, biting into his lasagna. Louis giggles a little, picking off another piece of fried calamari. Harry throws a stuffed mushroom into his mouth and chews. The food is incredible, he’ll admit, and Niall and Zayn are awesome, but this whole Liam and Louis thing is a bit obnoxious. It’s only been a week since they started dating, why are they already like this? Sure, they’ve been talking every fucking moment they can, but still. 

Maybe Harry is more than a little lonely. And maybe he’s a lot bitter. 

“Save room for dessert!” Louis says suddenly. “We’re getting the Titanic!”

“Oh, fuck yes,” Niall moans. “Get in.”

“What is it?” Harry asks. 

“The best thing to ever exist,” Zayn says casually. 

“Don’t tell him! Let’s make it a surprise!” Louis says. “So much better when it’s a surprise. It’ll blow your mind.”

“No, seriously, I almost cried when I had it for the first time,” Niall says. 

“I think you did,” Zayn says.

“I love a good dessert,” Niall shrugs. “Food is the only serious relationship I’ve had and I’m alright with it.”

“Dying alone with a casket full of food,” Louis sighs. “Whatever makes you happy.”

Maybe it isn’t so bad, Harry thinks. Maybe they can all be friends, because they’re all cool people. And he can’t be too mad when dessert comes out. Never in his life has he seen anything like this. It’s a huge brownie on the bottom of the giant plate, vanilla ice cream on top, a mountain of whipped cream with chocolate sticks to shape it like the Titanic. There’s strawberries and hot fudge smeared all over it and Harry almost moans at his first bite. It’s capable of feeding at least twelve people, but give the five of them enough time, they’ve got it.

“Holy shit,” he says through a mouthful of whipped cream. “I promise you, none of this will be left by the time I’m done with it.”

“Fuck,” Liam says. “This is amazing.”

“What did I say?” Louis smirks. “I know what I’m talking about.”

After they all stuff their face full of sugary goodness and the plate is nearly spotless, they all feel like exploding. Louis sits back in his chair and sighs heavily.

“I feel like I’m going to give birth to a baby. I am so fucking full right now.”

“Not the first time I’ve heard that from you,” Liam winks, squeezing his thigh. Harry resists rolling his eyes. They’re constantly throwing out innuendos and really, it’s gross. They’re out to dinner, for god’s sake. Harry wants to enjoy himself, really, but it’s making things awkward. He’s too close to Liam and not close enough to Louis for this to be okay.

Walking back to Louis and Zayn’s place isn’t as bad, because Louis and Liam are lagging behind, kissing and holding hands, while Harry talks with Niall and Zayn. They’re cool people; Zayn an art history major and Niall a music major. They ask about Harry and his major and invite him to their party next Saturday, which he promises he’ll come to.

“I think I can catch the 10:37 train back home,” Harry says, glancing at his phone. “I should get going.”

“You sure? You can stay the night, if you want,” Zayn offers. Harry glances back at Louis giggling into Liam’s neck and shakes his head.

“Nah, that’s alright. I’ve got some work to do tomorrow, anyway. I’ll see you guys next week, though,” Harry smiles a little.

“Alright, man, sounds good,” Niall says, clapping him on the back. “Great seeing you.”

“Yeah, you too. Li, you coming home with me?” Harry calls.

“Nope, he’s going home with me,” Louis winks, pulling Liam down for a kiss. Liam gives Harry a thumbs out without pulling away and Harry sighs.

“Well, I guess I’m going home alone. See you guys. Bye, Louis,” Harry says.

“Bye, Harry! Nice seeing you!” Louis pulls away from Liam long enough to talk, waving and smiling brightly. Harry turns on his heels, giving everyone a final wave and heading towards Grand Central Station.  
~  
There’s a knock on the door Tuesday night while Liam is at work. Harry’s got his headphones on, catching up on some of his reading for his animal law class. It’s really not as bad of a class as he thought it would be, thankfully. 

He takes out his headphones and gets off the couch to open the door to find Louis standing there with a bag slung over his shoulder and he’s got a sheepish smile on his face.

“Uh, hi. Sorry, is Liam home?”

“Not yet, he’ll be off work in an hour I think,” Harry says, leaning against the doorframe. “You can stay here though, if you want. You know, wait for him.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, thanks,” Louis smiles a little and follows Harry into the apartment. “Nice place.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice. Not as nice as yours, maybe.”

“New York and Connecticut are a bit different though,” Louis grins. “Yours isn’t as modern as mine, I guess. It’s homey, though. I like it.”

“Yeah, thanks. Liam and I made that a goal of ours. Want anything to drink or eat or something?”

“No, that’s alright, thank you.”

Harry sits down on the couch and gestures for Louis to sit down. “Make yourself at home. We can watch TV or something. I was just doing some reading for class.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Louis grimaces. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I could use some company. Haven’t been very social lately, I’ve been busy,” Harry shrugs, turning on the TV.

“Law is a lot harder than you thought, huh?” Louis asks, sitting to face him on the couch.

“Yeah, a lot harder.”

“What kind of law to d’you wanna go into?”

“Probably civil rights or family. I like the thought of really helping someone. Tax and real estate and stuff like that seem so boring, y’know? Right now I’m still doing some common cores, like animal law and stuff, but it’s still interesting. It’s just hard, I guess. A lot of memorization and stuff,” Harry explains, falling into conversation comfortably. 

“Yeah, yeah, makes sense. That sounds great, though, it’s cool that you know what you like,” Louis says.

“So what about you, then?” Harry asks.

“Double major in dance and drama. Can’t be a dancer forever, so I needed a backup,” Louis shrugs.

“That sounds interesting. What do you want to do with it?”

“I’m not really sure yet, to be honest,” Louis sighs. “Might go into choreography for movies or theater. Or maybe go into teaching. After I get too old and out of shape for dancing, I’ll use my drama degree to teach with, maybe.”

“Teaching? That’s great. How old?”

“I love little ones, but I don’t think I could do much with drama,” Louis smiles. “Probably high school kids. I’ve been teaching a few dance classes to little ones throughout college though. It’s extra money and I love it.”

“Really? That’s awesome. What kind of dance?” Harry asks. He’s actually really enjoying Louis’ company, and he knows fuck all about dance, but he really doesn’t mind.

“Ballet and hip hop, for right now,” Louis smiles. “Last spring I was doing jazz and tap, but I think I like this a lot more.”

“What’s your favorite to actually dance?” Harry asks. He’s stupidly endeared.

“Modern, I think. You can do so much with it, y’know? Pick whatever songs you want and just go with it,” Louis says. 

“Yeah. I mean, no, I don’t actually know anything about dance, but I can imagine,” Harry says, and Louis giggles. Fuck, he’s giggling and it’s beautiful.

“Really? Well, you go to Yale, I don’t expect many dance majors here. You should come to my dance recital, then. It’s not until December, but it’ll have some Christmas stuff. They’re letting me choreograph my own dance that I can perform solo, which is sick.”

“That sounds awesome, Lou. I’d love to come,” Harry smiles. Louis smiles back at him, but it falters slightly.

“Um, while I have you alone, I wanted to say I’m sorry. For uh, leaving you while we were dancing. I did honestly go to the bathroom but, you know, I was pretty wasted. I saw Liam and just, you know, went for it. It wasn’t that I was trying to escape or anything, I’m just a shitty drunk, is all.”

“It’s fine, no worries,” Harry reassures. “You were definitely very drunk, you thought I was Niall. Now that I’ve met Niall, I can see that was a very big mistake.”

“Yeah,” Louis huffs with a smile. “A bit. But, no hard feelings, right? We’re okay?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Harry says. “Friends?”

“Yeah, that sounds great.”  
~  
“He threw up in the hallway?!” Louis squeals, covering his mouth, laughing. 

“Yup, all over. So close to the bathroom, but not quite,” Harry laughs. 

“What are we up to?” Liam asks, closing the front door.

“Sharing stories about you,” Harry grins, leaning against the couch. 

“Oh, that’s never good,” Liam frowns. “Can we change the subject?”

“No way,” Louis grins. “This is good stuff, babe.”

“I’m sure he’s full of them, don’t listen to him. He’s probably lying,” Liam says, dropping a kiss down onto Louis’ lips.

“Why, Liam, I would never do such a thing.”

“Sure,” Liam rolls his eyes. “Pizza, Chinese, or Indian?”

“Indian upsets Louis’ stomach,” Harry says without thinking. Fuck, it was just a quick thing Louis had mentioned while they were talking. Louis smiles fondly over at him.

“Yeah, sorry, babe. Pizza or Chinese is fine, though,” Louis says. 

“I mean, I’m in the mood for pizza, but hey,” Harry shrugs. 

“We’ll get pizza,” Liam sighs loudly. “Don’t need you whining about it all night.”

“I see Harry runs the house, then,” Louis smiles. 

“I’d like to think so,” Harry says, stretching out with a smile.  
~  
Harry hears a small crash somewhere in the apartment and sits up, rubbing his eyes and dragging himself out of bed. He walks into the kitchen and sees Louis standing there with one of Liam’s Yale sweatshirts on, falling down to his thighs and his glasses perched on his nose. 

“Lou?” Harry whispers. Louis turns around and nearly drops the glass in his hand.

“Jesus, Harry!” Louis whisper-shouts. Harry’s eyebrows furrow and then looks down, realizing that, oh, fuck, he’s naked. He quickly covers himself, willing his blush to go away.

“Uh, sorry. Not used to guests,” Harry coughs.

“I see,” Louis says, smiling a little. “Not all bad, though. Mazel tov.”

Harry snorts and shakes his head. “Y’alright?”

“Yeah, fine. I just couldn’t sleep, just wanted some water. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Any reason you can’t sleep?” Harry asks.

“You should probably put some pants on, first.”

“Right.”

Once Harry has pants on, he comes back into the kitchen. Louis is sitting at the table, starring into his water. Harry sits next to him and waits for a moment.

“So,” he starts. “what’s going on?”

Louis shrugs. “Just a little stressed out, I guess. And Liam is great and all but…I don’t know, do you ever worry something isn’t right?”

“Like, in a relationship? Something is off, you mean?” Harry asks carefully. 

“Yeah, like,” Louis searches for words. “We really haven’t been dating long enough, maybe that’s why. I feel like something is almost missing.”

“Well,” Harry says slowly. “Maybe it’s because you don’t know each other well enough yet. Like, yeah, you just started dating, so maybe you have to wait it out. Once you guys get to know each other a little bit better it should fall into place. And if it doesn’t…you know, you can end it.”

“He’s really great, though,” Louis sighs. “I like him a lot. I guess I’m overthinking it. My mom’s been divorced twice, so I guess it’s always something in the back of my mind, you know?”

“You and Liam aren’t getting married, Lou. Enjoy it, see where it goes, and don’t think so much. Stop thinking, okay? And just…let it happen,” Harry says. Wow, never thought he’d be giving Louis advice to dating his best friend. He really is growing up.

“Thanks, Haz,” Louis smiles softly. “Oh, wait, uh, sorry.”

“Nah, you can call me that. It’s cute,” Harry smiles. 

“Would it be weird if I gave you a hug?” Louis asks softly.

“Bring it in,” Harry grins, opening his arms and Louis smiles, snuggling into his body. It’s brief, but it’s so warm and…fuck, it’s nice. Liam is so lucky. 

“How about some milk and cookies? Maybe some TV until you get tired,” Harry suggests. “I’m pretty wide awake now.”

“That sounds really nice. Do you have chocolate chip?” Louis asks like a small child.

“Obviously. Went all the way to Stew Leonard’s for theirs.”

“Oh my god, they have the absolute best,” Louis nearly moans. “It’s so far away, though. How far is it from you guys?”

“Pretty far, like, forty minutes, I think. But once in a while Liam and I drive down if we’ve got nothing else to do. Love that store.”

“Bring on the cookies.”

They sit on the couch with a container of cookies and two tall glasses of milk with _Friends_ playing. They talk until nearly four in the morning, learning about each other’s families and friends, likes and dislikes. It feels like they’ve been friends forever, conversation flowing easily, the cookies and milk long gone. Louis ends up asleep with his feet on Harry’s lap. Harry smiles, throwing a blanket over him and turning off the TV before drifting off himself. 

He wakes up with a startle in the morning, Louis missing. There’s a note on his lap and it’s quiet in the apartment. 

_Liam took me out to breakfast. You looked peaceful, so I didn’t want to wake you. Thanks for last night, I’ll see you later (:_

_-Louis_

Harry smiles tiredly and stands up, cracking his back and making himself a cup of coffee. Well, at least he made a new friend out of all of this.  
~  
“No! Mamma Mia is so much better than Hairspray! Maybe not movie wise, because Hairspray has Zac Efron,” Louis says, sitting cross-legged in Central Park on a blanket.

“I disagree,” Harry smiles. “Hairspray has better music.”

“Better music?!” Louis nearly cries. “Liam, you have an awful roommate. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Nothing beats Abba!”

“What a stereotypical gay you are,” Harry snorts and Louis frowns. 

“Rude.”

It’s early October, the leaves turning colors and the weather cooling down. Liam and Harry take frequent trips down into the city to hang out with Louis, Niall, and Zayn (mostly Louis. Obviously). It’s nice, though, to not be stuck at the Yale campus all the time, doing this same thing every day. Louis shows Liam and Harry all the cool places to be, the good restaurants and the fun bars, the peaceful parts of the park and the quiet coffee shops to get work done. 

Right now, Louis is between Liam’s legs, wrapped up in an NYU hoodie and a Shakespeare book forgotten on his thighs. Really, they’re supposed to be doing work, but Louis loves to talk, and Harry loves to listen. Louis invited Harry and Liam to stay the weekend, and Harry is grateful that they’re friends, or this would be super awkward. Of course, he spends more time with Liam, especially when they turn in for the night. (Louis has painfully thin walls at his place, or maybe Harry is just keen on listening. Or maybe it’s because Louis is so _loud_ ). 

But still, it’s a good time. Louis comes to visit, too, sometimes bringing Zayn and Niall with him. They’ve only been dating a month, but they’ve seen so much of each other that it feels like longer. Money really isn’t an issue for anyone’s family, and Harry and Liam got themselves Metro North rail cards to make life easier. They’re always with each other, and the distance really isn’t bad.

Harry loses his temper, though, eventually. After they finally decide to pack their stuff, they stop to get a quick cup of coffee and head back to Louis’ apartment. Louis claims he needs a nap, something about a headache, and Liam follows him into the room. Harry’s still got studying to do; a lot. He’s got two exams this week and his stomach is in knots over it. He sits in the living room on the couch, textbooks and notebooks opened and headphones in. The headphones and loud music unfortunately can’t block out the noise coming from Louis’ room. 

The headboard is banging on the wall as a steady knock, the mattress creaking and Louis’ voice ringing through the apartment. He’s letting the whole world know that “fuck, Liam, right there, shit, you’re so good,” and Harry really is trying to concentrate. It doesn’t last too long, but after a five-minute break, it starts right up again. 

“Christ,” Harry mumbles to himself, slamming his book shut and walking to the door. He can’t take any more of this, not with his exams on the horizon and a headache coming on. He bangs on the door and the noises all stop at once, then it’s silence. Harry waits a minute by the door, letting Liam open it with his sweats so low he can see his pubes. Gross.

“Uh, hey, need something? Sort of busy,” Liam says. He’s got the door open just enough to give Harry a peak inside: Louis sprawled out flushed on his bed, his white duvet haphazardly thrown on his naked body.

“Yeah, I can hear that,” Harry snaps. “Look, I have two exams this week. Just-tone it down, at least. I don’t want to leave the apartment again.”

“It’s sort of a good thing when I can get him that loud,” Liam smirks. “I take a lot of pride in it. Telling him to quiet down is gonna be a blow to my ego.”

“Then shoot it dead,” Harry grits out, turning on his heels and going back to the couch. The door of the apartment closes and there’s some hushed talking, but the loud noises stop completely. Sounds like a win, except for that Harry still isn’t getting fucked.  
~  
“Sorry about tonight,” Louis says quietly when Liam leaves to go to work. Harry looks up for his textbook and Louis is next to him on the couch. “I didn’t mean to be a pain in the ass. I’m a horrible host.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Liam is your boyfriend,” Harry shrugs.

“I know you have a lot of work to be doing, though. It was rude of me,” Louis bites his lip. 

“It’s really fine,” Harry says. It’s not fine, but he’d rather not be talking about it. 

“No, listen. I know you and Liam have a lot of work to do, and I’m probably distracting, I think. Like, it’s weird, my boyfriend and best friend being from Yale, of all places.”

“I’m your best friend? What about Zayn and Niall?” Harry asks, his chest expanding with fondness.

“I mean, yeah, they’re great too, but I don’t know. You’re up there, too. We can talk about anything and I feel like you don’t judge me. I always thought people from Yale would be so dull, and I’m so loud and stuff. Like, people at NYU are sort of…unique, I guess?”

“And I’m generic?” Harry teases and Louis rolls his eyes.

“No, but it’s different at NYU. Like, sure, there are people there for medicine and stuff like that, but most of us are artsy. Dance majors, film, music, art, photo, it’s just…different. I know your work is a lot different than mine and I shouldn’t be so inconsiderate.”

“It’s alright, really. You need to have fun in college, right? I forget that sometimes. Tell me more about how we’re different,” Harry urges. “I want to know what you mean by that.”

“Alright,” Louis says slowly. “Okay, so, basically speaking for Niall, Zayn, and I, college is our prime time. Like, things from here are so unsure. With a law degree from Yale, you’re going to find work, and you’re secure. You’re…you’re safe, and maybe that’s why I like you and Liam so much. It’s safety, I guess, that I don’t really feel. I mean, take Zayn. He’s an absolutely sick artistic, Haz, you should see him. But he’s either going to be some famous artist, or he’s going to fall on his face and try to sell on the street. And if that doesn’t work, he’s going to be working some minimum wage job somewhere he hates. Niall is the same way: he’ll either be this big famous singer or be on the street performing. I mean, with me it’s a little different, right? If I don’t make it on Broadway like I want to, I always have teaching as an option. None of this is safe, though. You and Liam are safe.”

“Not necessarily,” Harry grumbles.

“Hey,” Louis says softly, reaching for his wrist. “Like I said, it’s not a bad thing. I’m just saying, you and Liam, this is the hard stuff right now. This is the book stuff you have to pull through, but at the end you’ll be able to relax a little and find a job you’ll be great at. But with us, here, it’s more fun right now. We’re sort of scatter brained, at least I am. I hear music and I want to make a dance for it, and I can do it right on the spot. I can see someone trip on the street and think of a move out of that. I’m sort of wired, and I’m always going. I get inspiration off of everything. A lot of my classes are presentations, I have to prove myself. Sure, I have textbooky classes too, but I have to show a lot of myself. I have to be better than the rest if I want to make it. I’m just…all over the place. And it’s weird to see you and Liam so focused and calm and I envy it a bit.”

“You’re amazing though, Louis,” Harry says before he can catch himself. “Don’t worry about me getting work done. Like I said, I need to have some fun, too, and I think I’ve just been third wheeling with you and Liam a lot. But don’t think you’re distracting me or anything. I want to see you succeed, and I know you’ll be able to do it. I want to help you with anything you need help with.”

“Thank you, and I’m going to make it my mission for you to have fun in college,” Louis smiles. “I don’t even know why I told you all of that, honestly. I think I’ve been thinking too much.”

“It didn’t sound like you had much time to think in there,” Harry cocks his head towards his bedroom and a pretty flush creeps onto Louis’ cheeks.

“I’m a bit loud, huh? Sorry. It was rude of me, but it won’t happen again. I don’t want you to fee left out. And for the record, you’re definitely unique, even though you go to a smart person school.”

“Thanks,” Harry laughs. “I hope that’s good.”

“It is.”  
~  
“Hey, you’re up,” Harry says, flipping another pancake. “Made chocolate chip pancakes, if you want them.”

“Oh, thank you,” Louis says, pulling the sleeves of his shirt over his hands. “Never had my boyfriend’s friends make me food.”

“Yeah, well,” Harry shrugs. “Guess I’m different. Sounds like you worked up an appetite last night.”

“I was loud again, wasn’t I?” Louis blushes. “Sorry.”

“S’alright, I couldn’t sleep anyway. Liam already left for work, I didn’t want you to starve.”

“I wouldn’t have starved,” Louis pouts. “I am capable of picking food up.”

“Just not cooking it yourself,” Harry gives him a warm smile. “C’mon, sit down. I have milk, coffee, tea, anything.”

“I could go for tea, actually, thank you.”

It’s pretty quiet while they’re eating, but it’s comfortable. Louis compliments how good it is, a bit of chocolate stuck on his tooth.

“Uh, Harry?” Louis says sheepishly.

“Yeah?”

“Does it bother you? You know, that I’m always here? I kind of just invaded your life, I don’t want to overstep any boundaries,” Louis says, biting his lip.

“No, of course it doesn’t bother me, Lou,” Harry says softly. “You said it yourself, I’m your best friend. And I mean, I feel the same way. I love you being here, and I love going to your place. I wish I could see you every day, actually, but I look forward to weekends so I can see you.”

It sounds so fucking desperate, Harry thinks. He sounds like he’s confessing his love, but the way Louis smiles makes him feel a little better.

“I love the weekends,” Louis admits. “I like being here. And thanks for breakfast. You didn’t have to.”

“Yeah, well, what are best friends for?”  
~  
“But Liam, you promised you’d come,” Harry can hear Louis’ pout from the other room. 

“I know I did, Lou, I’m sorry. But this internship is kicking my ass and I really need it. Next time,” Liam says.

“Fine. I’ll just go with Harry, then,” Louis says sadly.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“Me too.”

Harry doesn’t really mean to eavesdrop, because that’s rude, but they’re not being quiet, and Harry doesn’t like when Louis gets like this. Liam promised they’d go to the MET today because of this new exhibit they have, but now Liam has to work. Louis comes out of the room, looking close to tears, and nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees Harry.

“Is everything alright?” Harry asks. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis sniffs. “Don’t worry.”

“I, uh, heard what he said. I’ll still come with you, though. We’re going to have a lot of fun,” Harry says, handing Louis a cup of coffee.

“That’d be nice,” Louis smiles a little, taking the mug gratefully. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Me too,” Harry smiles back. Fuck, he likes him so much, and they keep doing things alone. Liam is always busy lately, and Harry is always there. Louis tells everything, and Harry does the same. It’s so comfortable between them and Harry just wants to kiss him and never stop. Liam doesn’t know how lucky he is, and he definitely doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.  
~  
 _Still up for lunch?_ Harry texts Louis on Friday afternoon, already on the train into the city. Harry only has one lecture Friday mornings, and Liam is off Fridays. Sometimes they’ll go down together, but a lot of times Liam will go down Thursday night and Harry will meet them Friday. Harry would drop everything for Louis, if he had to, and it’s practically like they’re dating, except for the fact that Louis is dating Liam. Liam, of course, is working again. His internship isn’t far from the city, so he takes the train in and walks to the firm, so it works out well. Well for Liam, but not so well for Louis. Liam’s hours aren’t bad, but Louis has told Harry that he misses him a lot. He’s not around enough, and sometimes he’s got stuff to do with his fraternity like get shit faced on a Saturday night. Louis usually isn’t invited to those, so Harry takes him out to see a play or movie, or just chill out at home. Louis is hands down Harry’s absolute best friend, and he would bend over backwards to make him smile.

_Yeah, meet me in the dance studio on campus. Just finishing up (:_

It’s the middle of November now, and Louis has his big Christmas dance recital in three weeks. He’s been working hard on it, since he was given a three-minute dance solo for it. He called Harry nearly screaming about how exciting he was, babbling on and on about it. Harry would love for him to be that happy every single day. He’s always in the studio now, or using the small room in the apartment that he’s reserved for his dancing and Zayn’s art. That’s their escape room, as they call it. 

Harry gets onto the subway and thinks about Louis the whole fucking way. It’s probably a disease, at this point. He loves seeing Louis at the studio, because he’s so in his element. He loves the outfits, as well. Louis wearing tight yoga pants is probably the most important thing in this entire world. His hair is usually so fluffy and unstyled when he’s dancing, a thin layer of sweat on his skin and a pretty flush on his cheeks. It’s Harry’s favorite look on Louis.

The walk from the subway isn’t bad, but the weather is getting bitterly cold now. Even with his heavy fur lined coat and knit beanie, it’s still freezing. He packed a beanie and scarf for Louis, just in case he forgot his. (He usually does.)

The door to the studio is unlocked when he gets there, and he finds Louis bent over, his cheeks round and toned through the black tights. Fuck, okay, a hard on isn’t what he needs right now, not in these tight jeans.

Louis looks up and sees Harry in the mirror and his face lights up. He turns around and runs over to hug him. 

“Hey, sorry, just finishing up,” Louis says, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, standing on his toes. 

“Take your time,” Harry says, hugging around his waist. Fuck, he smells so good. He smells of light cologne and faint sweat and the smell of Louis. God, he wants to hold him all day.

“I just need help stretching out, my hamstrings are killing me,” Louis says, lying back on the floor and lifting his legs over his head. “Do you mind?”

“Uh, no, I don’t,” Harry tries not to die on the spot. He gets on his knees and pushes Louis’ legs into his chest and Louis hums in approval.

“Ah, little harder. Yeah, just like that.”

Harry definitely has a semi and he keeps his crotch as far from Louis’ ass as he can. This is the perfect position to fuck Louis in, his ankles over Louis’ shoulders, tight around Harry’s cock. If Liam didn’t exist, Louis would be Harry’s by now. 

“Okay, I think I’m good,” Louis says, spreading his legs wide and lowering them to the floor. He’s so flexible and Harry wants to fuck him in every position he can think of. He stands up and grabs his dance bag, but Harry takes it for him and puts it over his shoulder.

“I’ve got it.”

“I can carry my own bag,” Louis says defensively, but he looks pleased.

“I know, but you must be tired. You’ve been here for four hours. Did you get a lot done?”

“Yeah, I almost have the whole dance done. I picked What Now by Rihanna. It’s slow, but it’s sort of an emotional dance,” Louis explains, leaving the studio.

“Can I see it so far?”

“Nope, no one is going to see it until the recital,” Louis smiles. “Gonna be a surprise.”

“Alright, then,” Harry laughs. “Fair enough.”

After lunch, they head back to Louis’ apartment. It’s too cold to go to the park now, so they stay in a lot of the times. Harry really doesn’t mind.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower,” Louis says, cocking his head towards the bathroom. “I’m all sticky.”

“Okay. I’m going to do the dishes for you, actually, because it looks like a mess over there,” Harry eyes the sink, dirty dishes piling up.

“Yeah, okay, thanks,” Louis laughs. “That’s sweet.”

Harry heads over and before Louis even gets the chance to leave, Harry spots a sparkly pink dildo on the bottom of the sink. That’s definitely, definitely Louis’. It has to be.

“Hey, Lou?” Harry asks stupidly. He shouldn’t ask, it’s not his business. It’s a private matter. Sex toys should be washed after being used, and he shouldn’t embarrass Louis, but.

“Yeah?” Louis asks, turning around.

“There’s a dildo in the sink,” he says simply. Louis cheeks heat quickly and he runs to the sink.

“Ignore that, I’ll clean it myself. ‘m sorry about that. That’s just, uh,” Louis rambles for words.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Harry says, cutting him off. “I’m not going to judge you. It’s healthy.”

“It doesn’t freak you out?” he asks slowly.

“No, of course not. Go ahead and shower, I got it.”

“No, it’s fine, I can clean that myself. Please don’t feel obligated,” Louis blushes deeper.

“Seriously, it’s okay,” Harry smiles softly. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks,” Louis mumbles, looking down. “I’m gonna…shower now.”

“Go ahead.”

Louis rushes out of the room and Harry can’t stop smiling. He’s so cute when he’s embarrassed. He picks up the rubber dildo and bites his lip, grinning. The thought of Louis getting himself off with a dildo is…well, ridiculously hot. Fuck.

He washes it thoroughly, thoughts racing through his mind about him sexting with Liam on nights they aren’t together, saying he wishes it were his cock instead. Or maybe Liam doesn’t even know about it. Maybe it’s hidden away in a drawer and he takes it out when Liam can’t do the job properly or he’s away too often. He likes the second thought better.

Louis comes out of the shower a while later, hair dripping wet and sweats on with an NYU dance shirt on. He looks so comfy and soft and Harry wants to curl into bed with him and cuddle him all night. He may be losing his sanity. 

“Feel better?” Harry asks, flipping through channels on the television.

“Yeah, much. Uh, thanks for doing the dishes for me. Been busy with…you know, everything, just haven’t gotten a chance to get around to it. Zayn’s been out a lot and I just, I’m lazy, I guess,” Louis tries to laugh it off.

“Hey, listen, don’t be embarrassed. Like I said, I don’t even care. It’s healthy, honestly, go for it. It’s your place. Make sure you clean it properly, though, because then things might go wrong. But don’t worry, I cleaned it well and it’s sitting on a paper towel in the drying rack.”

“Why are you so cool about everything?” Louis smiles, falling onto the couch with him dangerously close. “Thanks, Haz.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Do you have one?” he asks after a beat of silence.

“What? A dildo?” Louis nods, so Harry answers. “Nah, I’m more of a top.”

“Mm,” Louis hums. “So is Liam.”

“Yeah, I hear,” Harry smiles halfheartedly. Louis blushes but smiles.

“Promise you won’t miss my recital?”

“Not even if the world was burning to ashes,” Harry says softly.  
~  
“Good luck, baby, you’re going to be amazing,” Liam says in the hallway of the theater, kissing Louis softly for good luck. Louis smiles up at him, looking a bit sheepish and nervous.

“Thanks.”

Harry pulls him into a hug next. “Don’t be nervous. You don’t need luck, you have talent. Go out there and show them what you’re made of.”

Louis giggles into his shoulder, nodding. “Okay, yeah, I will.”

The night before, Louis couldn’t stop talking about it. This is a huge deal for him, Harry knows it, and he’s so proud. He can’t wait to see what Louis can do. He’s seen a few things, but nothing complete, nothing this legitimate and perfected. He gives him a kiss on the cheek, making Louis smile softly and pat his hip, giving Liam a wave and going into the rehearsal room. 

Liam and Harry go into the theater, finding a seat close to the front. They talk casually, and Harry tries to avoid the topic of Louis. He knows if he talks about him, the love he has for him will seep through his face and give him away. 

The show is actually a lot more exciting than Harry thought it would be. Louis is part of most dances, in the front, since he’s vice president. The outfits are fucking sinful on Louis, and it isn’t fair. The ballet one is hardest to get through, a black leotard on, showing off Louis’ ass in the tights, jiggling. Harry has a strong suspicion that’s he’s wearing a thong, and he wants to light himself on fire.

He’s got such poise and elegance when he dances. As a person, he’s all over the place, honestly, but he’s totally different on stage. He’s beautiful to watch. They do a group dance to Radioactive by Imagine Dragons for the modern dance, and it’s absolutely sick. He borrowed one of Harry’s oversized flannels for it and wore it with torn leggings, his hair wild. The goal was to make them look like zombies, but Harry thinks he looks delicious. The passion about dancing is obvious with him, the way he never misses a beat, like the music is inside of him. Harry feels so in love with him, so in love with his passion and determination, his love and grace. He loves Louis and Louis will never know. 

Louis’ solo dance is towards the end, slow and beautiful. His body looks longer like this, lean and strong. It’s dramatic and full of raw emotion; just from the way he moves his body. When it’s over, Louis is given a standing ovation, and he looks so proud and happy with himself. Harry grins, feeling pride sweeping over his body, whistling and waving to him. Louis seems to see it, because he mouths a ‘thank you’ to Harry and puts his hand over his heart. 

The show finishes off with cheers and applause after another group number. Louis is brought to the front along with a few others girls and they’re each given a bouquet of poinsettias by two of the girls, thanking them for all the work they’ve been doing. Harry already has lilies waiting for him because they’re his favorite flower. He can’t wait to see the look on his face.

The hallway is crowded with people waiting to congratulate their loved ones. Harry has the flowers in his hands, looking around for Louis to come in. Liam looks at him and makes a face.

“Why did you get flowers?” 

“A lot of people do it,” Harry shrugs, fighting off the flush rising on his neck. “Saying congrats. This was a huge deal for him.”

“I know but…he’s not your boyfriend,” Liam says slowly. “Do you…do you have feelings for him?”

“Louis? No, of course I don’t,” Harry says firmly. “He’s just a friend.”

“You look at him like he’s more than that,” Liam argues. “But he’s my boyfriend. He loves me, and we’re together.”

“I get it, Liam,” Harry snaps. “It’s not like that. I don’t feel that way about him. He’s just probably a good fuck.”

“A good fuck? That’s it?”

“Yeah,” Harry lies. If he tells Liam how madly in love he is with Louis, it’ll make everything even worse. “That’s it. Has he told you about his past? How before you came along he was slutting around with any guy that was willing to fuck him?”

“Don’t talk about my boyfriend like that,” Liam says lowly. “He’s a person with feelings and a past. ”

“And a person with a great body,” Harry says. “I’m surprised he even stayed with you this long. I guess you’re just in it for the sex, then. Am I wrong?”

“Yeah you’re fucking wrong!” Liam shouts, shoving Harry. Harry shoves him back, the flowers falling to the ground. People crowd around, murmuring and whispering, and then there’s a familiar voice yelling.

“Stop it! Stop it!”

Harry gives Liam a punch square in the jaw, making him nearly tumble over. Harry is seething. This is a stupid fight, but Liam started it. If he just let the flowers be, this could have been avoided easily. 

“What are you doing?!” Louis shouts. “Harry, stop it! You knew this was important to me! You’re ruining this!”

Liam punches him back, ignoring Louis’ words. Harry stumbles back, and glances at Louis. He’s crying now, a few tears catching the light. He’s got his yoga pants on with his favorite comfy maroon sweater. He looks so fragile.

“You knew this was important! You both knew how much this meant to me! I can’t believe you would do this to me!”

“Louis-“ Harry tries, cradling his jaw in his hand, but Louis turns around.

“Save it.”  
~  
Harry takes the train home alone that night holding a pint of ice cream against his jaw and torn flowers in the other hand. He didn’t mean to ruin this for Louis, he would never dream of it, and now he’s made a fool of himself and Louis. God, he’s probably humiliated. Louis told Harry in confidence about his bad past, how he was afraid of commitment and just wanted boys to like him. No one wanted to date him, they wanted to fuck him and leave, and he got used to it. But when Liam stuck around, he was so excited about it and it wasn’t about sex. He falls in love easily, and Harry did the same thing.

He isn’t sure what happened to him or Liam, he left right away and got the next train home. Louis needs his space, he knows that. But whenever Louis is ready, Harry will be there. He’d wait forever and a day for Louis.

When he gets back to his own apartment, he shoots off a text to Louis.

_I’m so sorry. I hope we can talk about this soon. You were amazing, I’m proud of you. Sleep well._

He’s not surprised when he wakes up the next morning with no calls or texts.  
~  
Liam comes back Monday morning and ignores Harry completely, acting like he doesn’t exist. Maybe Harry deserves that for what he said. It’s clear that he fixed his issues with Louis, though, or else he would have come back the same night Harry did. He would have come home sad and disgusted with himself just like Harry did.  
~  
By Wednesday, Harry can’t handle the silence from Liam and Louis. He needs to talk to Louis, he needs to tell him he’s sorry and he fucked up and it’ll never happen again. Harry can’t even look at himself knowing he caused Louis pain and made him this upset. 

He catches the train into the city and heads to Louis’ place. It’s absolutely freezing outside, and Harry didn’t wear his heavy jacket. He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down the whole way there. They go home for Christmas break on Saturday, and Harry needs to make it right before then.

He knocks on the door and Zayn answers, giving him a hard look. 

“Zayn, I’m sorry, but I have to talk to Louis.”

“I don’t think he wants to talk to you.”

“I know he doesn’t. Please, it’s important.”

“He’s in his room.”

Harry gives him a grateful look and heads to Louis’ closed door. He knocks on it and receives no answer.

“Louis, it’s me. I really want to talk to you about everything. Can you open the door for me? I want to talk to you, please.” There’s still no answer, but Harry isn’t going to budge. “Fine, okay, I deserve it, but I’m not leaving.”

No answer. Harry sits on the floor and brings his knees up to his chest. “Fine, okay, I’m going to sit right here until you’re ready. I’m going to talk to you just like this, okay? I’m sorry, Louis. I’m so sorry for what I did and what I said. It was stupid and wrong of me and I didn’t mean to ruin everything. I bought you lilies for after the recital, and Liam gave me a hard time. He said I shouldn’t do things like that because you aren’t my boyfriend. I just…I’m so proud of you. I wanted to show you how proud I was and congratulate you for your great performance. And, Louis…you were so good. I realized how…how amazing you are. I already knew, but I mean, I saw your passion, I saw how in your element you were, and it made me so happy. Do you know why?”

Silence.

“Because I love you. I love you; I’m in love with you. I knew I was, but that recital just…it showed me what kind of person you really are. When you love, you love with everything you have, you know? You don’t hold back and I love it, I love watching your face light up when you love something so much, or watching your determination for things you can’t do. And then…when you get it right, it’s like, the pride radiates off you. You never give up, and I love it.”

More silence.

“And you make me laugh. You’re so funny without even trying. And you’re so good at talking. I can listen to you for hours and hours. You just know how to tell a story, and your voice gets so animated when it’s something to do with dance. And when you talk about your family or you see a little kid, your face and voice go all soft. I love watching you talk to Liam, even. It’s not me, but seeing you so happy and in love…it makes me so happy. All I want…is to see you happy, Louis. I’m so in love with you and you don’t have to feel the same way. You’re with Liam, I understand that, but I need you to know how I feel. I never want you to forget how good you are, how amazing and incredible and beautiful and wonderful you are. I love you, and no matter what, you’ll always have me here for you. Even if you don’t talk to me for another thirty years, I’ll still be here. I miss you already, Louis.”

His eyes are teary, and his heart is beating too fast in his chest. Zayn walks over and gives Harry a sympathetic look and nods a little, silently telling him he did well. 

It’s quiet for a while. Zayn goes to his room, and Harry isn’t even sure if Louis is awake. There hasn’t been a single noise and it’s making Harry anxious.

“Can you make a sound just so I know you’re alive?” Harry asks. “So I know you’re alright.”

Louis doesn’t answer. Harry sighs and closes his eyes, putting his head against the door. “Okay. I’m still not leaving.”  
~  
He’s woken up by his head slamming onto the hardwood floor. He groans and opens his eyes and sees Louis’ blue eyes looking right back at him, a bit surprised and wide.

“Sorry. I thought you left.”

“I told you I wouldn’t,” Harry says groggily, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head. 

“I heard everything.”

“Yeah? I was hoping you would.”

“You…you love me, then.”

“Yeah,” Harry says, standing up and dusting off his jeans. “I really, really do love you. And I only said what I said because…because I didn’t want Liam to know. I knew he’d be pissed off because you’re his boyfriend, not mine. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Louis.”

“Okay,” Louis says softly.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I…I think I understand now. I’m sorry that…that I can’t feel the same way. I’m with Liam, though. I don’t…I don’t want this to ruin us.”

“No, never. I’ve missed you so much, Louis, I don’t like not talking to you. You mean a lot to me.”

“Well, believe it or not, you’re very important to me,” Louis whispers. “And I missed you too.”

“Friends?”

“No,” Louis says. “Best friends.”

“Good,” Harry smiles softly, and pulls Louis in for a hug.  
~  
Harry thinks maybe Christmas break is a good time to clear his head. Maybe he’ll stop thinking about Louis so much and just enjoy being home for the month. Maybe he can come back refreshed and ready to take on life.

Or maybe he’ll sit at home texting Louis and moping whenever he’s not texting Louis.

The first time Harry facetimes Louis during break is for his birthday. It’s not that he’s dying to see Louis, he just wants to be a good friend and wish him a very happy birthday. That’s definitely the only reason.

Louis is suspiciously careful not to show anything slightly below the neck, but seems to be cheery and happy to see him.

“Happy birthday, Lou,” Harry says softly, grinning.

“Thanks, Haz. Merry Christmas.”

“Christmas has nothing on your birthday.”

Louis scoffs, but smiles. “Thanks for the gift, by the way. I got it in the mail and I love it. You didn’t have to buy me anything.”

“Yeah, well, I thought it would look nice on you,” Harry shrugs. He got him an expensive cashmere sweater, a pretty blue to bring out his eyes. He didn’t have to spend so much, but Louis is just important to him and deserves the very best.

“It’s beautiful.”

 _Just like you_ , Harry wants to say, but that’s passing their friend boundary. He doesn’t want to make Louis feel awkward about not having the same feelings towards him. 

“Glad you like it.”

“I do. Listen, I’m going to let you go spend time with your family. Uh, Liam wants to facetime me, so…” Louis bites his lip.

“Oh. Uh, yeah, of course. I’ll…talk to you soon, okay? Happy birthday, Louis.”

“Thanks you, Harry, I love you,” he says.

“Love you too,” Harry replies, hitting the End button. Not even a minute later, his phone is going off again with a facetime call from Louis. Maybe he forgot to tell him something.

He accepts it and finds Louis, his phone probably propped against a pillow or something. Louis, god bless him, is in a red little Christmas nightie, lace panties on and his cock visible through the material.

“Merry Christmas, Santa,” Louis purrs sexually, leaning down to show his face, and his eyes go wide. “Jesus Christ, I’m sorry. Oh, god, this is embarrassing. Okay, sorry. Uh, Merry Christmas again.”

The call ends and Harry’s body feels like it’s on fire. Well, so much for not thinking about Louis.  
~  
“Liam is mad at me for still talking to you,” Louis says a week later over facetime. Harry caved and called him again, needing to see his face.

“I figured.”

“I, uh, didn’t tell him about your feelings. Wasn’t my place, but I told him I forgave you because I know you were sorry about what happened.”

“Thanks for not telling him,” Harry bites his lip. “He’d be more mad at me then.”

“No problem,” Louis says quietly. “I told him you’re my best friend, though, and I wasn’t going to give that up over a stupid fight.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Harry says quietly.

“I love you too much to end our friendship like that,” Louis whispers. Harry almost hates when Louis tells him he loves him because he doesn’t love him the right way. He loves him in the sense that he loves having him around and cares about him, but Harry loves him deep. He loves the sound of his voice and the way he breathes from his belly instead of his chest. He loves every part of him, even the loud and obnoxious parts, and he wants to be with him every day. He’s afraid he’s never going to get over it, because he loves so deep.

“Yeah, I love you too.”  
~  
When they get back to school for the spring semester, it’s not really the same. Liam acts weird around Harry, a bit cold towards him. Not that Harry blames him.

“Liam, I’m sorry about what happened. I honestly didn’t mean it, okay? Can we just…move on?”

“I guess,” Liam shrugs. “Louis still wants to be friends with you so I guess he’s fine with the awful things you said.”

“I apologized,” Harry says slowly. “I didn’t mean it. I was just…mad that day. I don’t know what happened.”

“I love him a lot,” Liam says. “Like, this could be really serious with us. He’s not a fling, Harry.”

“Yeah, I know he’s not,” Harry swallows. “He loves you too.”

Liam nods and turns back to his computer.  
~  
For Harry’s birthday, Louis buys him two concert tickets to see The 1975 and a new watch. They go out to a club for a guy’s night, and Louis gives him a sloppy, drunk lap dance. 

“’cause it’s your birthday,” Louis insisted, grinding his hips onto Harry’s aching hard on. Louis tried to get him to hook up with someone there, and he almost had a girl lined up for him, but Harry didn’t want it. If he wasn’t going home with Louis, he didn’t want to go home with anyone.

“She was so hot!” Louis cries. “Should have gone for it!”

“Wasn’t into her,” Harry shrugs. 

“Want a boy? I can get you a hot guy.”

“Nah, really, I’m good.”

“You sure? It’s your birthday.”

Harry shrugs, taking another sip of his drink instead. Louis eyes him, flicking his fringe out of his hair. His eyes are bright in the dark club, his face shiny with sweat, his cheeks tinted from the alcohol. Liam is god knows where right now, and Louis’ lips are so red from his fruity cocktails. Harry wants to kiss him more than he wants to breathe.

“Haz,” Louis says, squeezing his bicep. “Listen, it’s your birthday. And I…I want you to have a good birthday.”

“I am, Louis. This is great,” Harry insists.

“I know why you won’t find a fuck for the night,” Louis says slowly. “And I….I don’t want to be the reason.”

Harry doesn’t say anything to that, because he’s not exactly wrong.

“I want to make this good for you. I’m faithful to Liam, I have been, but I mean…this is one time, okay? Just because it’s your birthday and I love you.”

“Wait, what?” Harry asks, completely confused now. He feels like his whole body is shaking. Louis takes his hand and leads him out in the freezing February air. He pushes him against the brick wall outside of the club and kisses him hard, his lips soft and meaningful. Harry thinks he could die right now, let the singing angels lead him up into heaven. Those angels would probably look just like Louis, and maybe sound like him, too.

His hands find Louis’ slim waist, pulling him closer and forgetting all of his morals. Louis’ hands are on Harry’s neck, warm and firm. Everything is Louis right now, and even if the building were to blow up right now, Harry doesn’t think he’d be able to move an inch.

Louis breaks away too fast, blinking up at Harry through his dark eyelashes. 

“Every man deserves a good birthday blowjob. So just…let me do this, okay? It’s between you and I. No one else exists right now. Just you and me.”

Harry nods dumbly, because even if they were in a sea of people, Harry would only be focused on Louis. Despite the freezing cold weather, his cock is already hard and interested. 

Louis kisses him again, chaste and sweet, and drops to his knees in front of Harry. “Gotta make this quick, though, fuckin’ freezing out here.”

Harry tries to laugh, but it gets caught in his throat. 

Louis unbuttons his jeans, pulling them down and getting Harry’s cock out. Louis wraps a hand around it, licking the precome from the slit.

“Impressive,” Louis murmurs, kissing the tip tenderly before sucking it into his mouth. Harry’s head hits the brick wall, but he can’t feel anything except for the lips wrapped around him.

Harry looks down to catch Louis staring up at him, eyes wide and watery. His cheeks hallow out and his head bobs up at down, pulling him as far down his throat as he can. Harry puts a hand on his cheek and strokes him thumb under his eye.

“Fuck, fuck, you look beautiful. I love you, you’re gorgeous,” Harry rambles. Louis closes his eyes and sucks harder.

Despite the cold, Harry feels like he’s on fire. It’s so good, and Louis looks so amazing. He wants this forever, but his balls are drawing up and tightening, his belly tensing.

“Louis,” Harry warns. “I’m not going to last much longer. Fuck, you’re so good at this. Oh my god.”

Louis squeezes Harry’s hip with one hand and rolls his balls through his fingers with the other. Harry whimpers, biting his lip. “Louis, Louis, Louis.”

Louis doesn’t pull up, though. He blinks up at Harry again, blue eyes shining in the streetlights. Harry chokes on a sob, coming hard down Louis’ throat. He puts his hand on Louis’ throat and feels his Adam’s apple bob, indicating that he swallowed it. Harry’s knees are shaking and he might fall over, hit his head on the concrete and die happy. 

Louis zips him back up, standing and kissing Harry softly. 

“Happy birthday, Harry.”

He walks back into the club without a glance back and Harry feels like screaming.  
~  
He wakes up in his bed the next day with a slight hangover, but a pleasant feeling thrumming through his veins. It smells like coffee and waffles, and that’s enough to get him out of bed.

He throws on his sweatpants and a pair of socks because the hardwood floors are so cold on his feet. He uses the bathroom before he heads into the kitchen, Louis putting waffles on a plate. He looks so soft, wearing an oversized Yale sweatshirt and nothing else.

“Good morning,” Harry says, his voice a bit hoarse. 

“Morning,” Louis gives him a private smile, his voice also hoarse. Fuck, that’s hot. “How did you sleep?”

“Great, great,” Harry nods. “Where’s Liam?”

“Picking up syrup. You guys ran out. He’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Okay. Uh, while he’s still out…I wanted to thank you for last night. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” Louis says, looking at the waffles. “You deserved it though. Just…something for us.”

“Yeah,” Harry nods. _For us._  
~  
“Hey,” Louis greets when Harry opens the door to his apartment. “How was your day so far?”

“Alright. Train was packed, I stood the whole way,” Harry shrugs his bag off his shoulder and onto the floor. “Where’s Liam? Work?”

“No,” Louis bites his lip. “Uh, your place.”

“Why?” Harry asks, confused. “He came down last night.”

“Yeah, he did. And this morning…I broke up with him. He’s…headed back home now,” Louis says slowly. He’s making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, and Harry couldn’t love him any more than he does now.

“What?”

“It wasn’t really working,” Louis shrugs. “I loved him but…I kind of fell out of love? Like, it wasn’t as good as it was in the beginning. It wasn’t his fault, I just wasn’t into it, you know? Am I a terrible person?”

His eyes are shiny with tears, the sandwiches forgotten about. “Oh, Louis, no,” Harry says softly, moving closer to him and pulling him into a hug. “It happens. Maybe he wasn’t it for you, that’s all. You need to be with someone who makes you feel loved and special at all times.”

Louis nods, holding him tight. “Yeah, thank you.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Harry says softly, kissing his forehead. “How did he react?”

“Kind of mad. He…he loves me a lot, he said. I just…I care about him, but not in the intimate way I should. It’s…it’s better this way, he doesn’t deserve an iffy sort of love.”

“He’ll find someone else, and so will you,” Harry promises.

“I know I will,” Louis whispers. Harry closes his eyes and prays to every god above that Louis is referring to him, but he would be a complete tool if he were to make a move on his best friend’s ex so soon. Louis needs time to bounce back, anyway, and Harry needs to figure out what the fuck is happening next.

“Hey, I know something that might help,” Harry smiles a little. “Let’s go to Baked By Melissa and get the sample container with every flavor in it.”

“I could go for cupcakes,” Louis pouts cutely. Harry moves hair out of his face and kisses his forehead again.

“Let’s go, then.”  
~  
“Okay, close your eyes,” Harry says softly. They’re on the couch, sitting with two containers of Baked By Melissa mini cupcakes. (Obviously, Louis deserved a whole box to himself. They got two and made a game of it). “Guess what flavor.”

Harry feeds Louis a cupcake, watching him chew with his eyes shut. “Peanut butter and jelly. Easy.”

“That one was easy,” Harry laughs. 

“Your turn,” Louis says. Harry closes his eyes and waits. 

“That is definitely chocolate covered birthday cake,” Harry says, mouth full.

“No!” Louis giggles. “That’s chocolate covered tie-die.”

“Damn,” Harry laughs. 

“You have frosting on your lip,” Louis mutters, wiping it softly with his thumb. Harry gets quiet, his heartbeat settling down with the touch. He’s so gentle with him, always so gentle.

“Thanks,” Harry whispers. 

“Yeah,” Louis whispers back. “Um, okay, next one.”

By the end of the night, Louis is whining about a stomachache, while Harry stuffs his face with leftover pizza. 

“Jesus, you’re a pig!” Louis laughs. “Where do you find the room?”

“I dunno,” Harry shrugs, grinning. “I’m a bottomless pit, really. I’m always hungry.”

“I feel like I’m going to give birth to a giant cupcake,” Louis pouts, putting a hand on his bloated belly. “Why did we do this?”

“Because it made you smile, didn’t it?” Harry says seriously and Louis’ face softens.

“You’re amazing, Harry. Thank you for everything you do. Sometimes I feel like I take advantage of you, I forgot what life was like without you. I don’t think it was as good.”

“Mine wasn’t either,” Harry says. “I think it got better with you. And you never take advantage. I do it because I love you.”

Louis flushes deep red and nods. “Yeah, I know.”

When they watch TV together that night, Louis cuddles into Harry’s chest wordlessly. Cuddling wasn’t something they did before because of Liam, obviously, but Harry feels warm all over. He wraps an arm around Louis and kisses his temple.  
~  
Harry sits in on Louis’ dance class with the seven year olds on Saturday morning, promising to get lunch with him after. Harry brings his laptop to work on an essay, but ends up spending his time staring disgustingly fond at Louis.

He’s in his yogas and t-shirt, ballet shoes on and hair soft. He’s got a bright smile on his face, his voice patient when gives instructions and so proud when he gives them praise. He’s so good with kids, like he was meant to be with them. Harry wonders what it would be like to have a family with Louis, to be married and raise children together. He thinks he wants that more than he wants anything.

“Hands over your head,” Louis says gently. “And bend down, reach for the floor.”

Louis’ body is a wonderland. It’s so lean and curvy all at once, and Harry wants to touch him everywhere. Louis should be the little ballerina they put on music boxes. 

“Good job, girls! I’ll see you Tuesday night. What are we having Tuesday?” Louis asks with a smile.

“Cupcakes!” they all shout. Louis grins and nods.

“Cupcakes.”

“Louis, who is the man in the back?” a girl asks.

“Oh,” Louis blushes. “That’s my friend Harry.”

“Is he your boyfriend?” another one asks. “You like boys, right?”

“Um,” Louis laughs. “Yes, but Harry isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Don’t you like him, though?”

“I do.”

“Then he should be your boyfriend,” she says simply. “He’s cute.”

“Thank you, Jessica,” Louis laughs. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

After the girls leave, Louis changes into his toms and walks over to Harry. 

“Sorry about them.”

“Don’t say sorry,” Harry smiles, packing his bags. “It’s cute.”

“They, uh, know I’m gay. Liam came once, so I had to explain that…I like boys.”

“It’s sweet,” Harry murmurs.  
~  
It goes on that way until April rolls around, the weather finally warming up and flowers just starting to bloom. Harry is more in love than ever and it’s starting to get out of hand. He wants to ask Louis out so badly but he’s afraid of being rejected. Louis said he doesn’t feel the same way, and maybe he really just doesn’t. Maybe this is all false hope and he’s wasting his life away waiting for a pretty boy who will never love him back.

But Harry can’t really stop himself from loving Louis and waiting for him to love him back. 

Louis’ spring dance recital isn’t as big of a deal as the Christmas show, but Harry is of course there, front row, cheering for the boy he wants to call his. He’s got Louis’ lilies waiting at home on the counter in a vase of water, a small box of Lindt dark chocolate next to it; his favorites. Harry knows all the little things about him, and loves them all.

Louis has another solo dance and choreographed several dances for the group ones. He’s incredible at what he does, and Harry wants to watch him dance forever. He loves listening to Louis talk about the new routine he just finished, or what song he picked for the class he teaches, or picking a new costume out for the next recital. Harry always listens carefully, letting Louis ramble on, watching his eyes shine with excitement. He wants that look on Louis’ face all the time. 

When he meets Louis in the lobby afterwards, it’s nothing like it was all those months ago. Louis is smiling brightly, jogging over to Harry and throwing his arms around his neck. 

“You were amazing,” Harry says into his ear, holding him around the waist. “Your solo was incredible, Lou. No one could look away from you, I swear. You were so, so good. I’m so proud of you.”

Louis grins into his shoulder. “Thank you, Harry. Thank you for coming.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Harry says, kissing his forehead once. “I’ll always be here.”

Louis gives him a soft, chaste kiss on the cheek and holds his bicep. “Can we go get coffee? I could use a cannoli.”

“Definitely. I could go for one of those,” Harry says, putting a hand on the small of his back. They walk out towards the exit, Louis’ bag over his shoulder and his cheeks pink with happiness.

“Liam!” someone calls, their voice high and cheery. Louis and Harry both turn towards the voice, seeing a very attractive woman in a dangerously low t-shirt hugging Liam tightly. Louis’ eyes narrow and he drops his bag on the floor.

“Hold on,” he mumbles, walking towards them. 

“Louis!” Harry calls, grabbing his bag and walking after him. He just wants to have a good night with Louis, he doesn’t need the extra drama. 

“Sophia,” Louis says coldly. 

“Oh, Louis, hi,” she says, her eyes wide. Liam looks a bit panicked. 

“Louis,” he says slowly. 

“Are you two together?” Louis asks, his voice higher than normal. 

“Well, I mean,” Liam starts.

“Yeah,” Sophia says quietly. “Um, yeah.”

“I didn’t think friends went after their friend’s ex boyfriends this quickly without talking to them about it,” Louis says softly.

“I wanted to tell you,” she tries. “but I didn’t want you to get upset about it. I swear it wasn’t until after you broke up.”

“You’ve basically been pining over my boyfriend, then? Waiting for us to break up? Is this why you told me I should dump him? So you could have him?”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“It sounds just like that,” Louis says harshly. “I thought we were friends. I can’t even count the amount of times I would stay after dance to help you when you couldn’t get something right! Or the times you would call me crying over some stupid drunk incident that I would have to talk you through! And now you’re just going to take my ex boyfriend?”

“I didn’t think you would care,” Liam says. “You were the one who broke up with me.”

“Well,” Louis says. “Alright, then. I hope you’re happy together, then. Enjoy. C’mon, Harry, let’s go.”

Liam looks up, like he didn’t notice Harry standing there. Harry gives him a shrug and takes Louis’ hand, walking away from them.

“God, what a bitch!” Louis shouts on their walk home. “Jesus, we just broke up! She kept saying he wasn’t worth it and he wasn’t even that hot, all this shit to convince me he wasn’t good for me, and now it all makes sense! And Liam just, fuck, he doesn’t even say anything about it!”

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Harry asks.

“What? No, no, that’s not it. It’s just…the principle of the matter, y’know? Like, we were together for a while, and Sophia and I have been good friends for a long time. It’s like, betrayal, I guess.”

“Was sort of fucked up of her,” Harry agrees. “But, c’mon, you had a great day. You were honestly the star of the show; you deserve to have a good night. We’ll get a giant cannoli and hot chocolate. Then go home and watch some movies?”

“That sounds really, really nice,” Louis says, curling into Harry’s side. Harry wraps an arm around his shoulders and tucks him in, kissing the top of his head.

“Okay.”  
~  
Sometimes life just goes your way.

Louis just left to go back to New York on Sunday night, headed off to the train station. He spent the weekend at Harry’s since Liam went home for the weekend. As far as Harry knows, they haven’t spoken to each other since the break up. Liam has been quiet.

Fifteen minutes after Louis leaves, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it up to find Louis standing there, looking a bit wild.

“Lou, did you forget something?” Harry asks.

“Yeah, I forgot to do this,” he says, launching forward and pulling Harry into a kiss. Harry stumbles back but holds his hips on instinct. 

“Louis, wha-,” Harry mumbles, but Louis kisses him quiet. He wraps his arms around his neck and falls into the apartment. Harry kicks the door closed and presses Louis against it, kissing him with sure lips. 

“Harry, Harry,” Louis pants, Harry kissing down his jaw and neck. “Listen, look at me, baby.”

Harry looks up at the name, wanting to cry and scream and smile all at once. Louis smiles softly, stroking his cheek and kissing him tenderly. “It should have been you the whole time,” he whispers.

“Louis,” Harry moans, closing his eyes. “Louis, I love you.”

“I know,” Louis says quietly. “I know you do.”

They’re kissing again, Harry picking Louis up and wrapping his legs around his waist. He brings them to the bedroom, lying Louis down on his back. Louis kisses the corner of his mouth.

“Baby.”

“Sweetheart,” Harry says back.

“Honey.”

“Babe.”

“Darling.”

“Love.”

Louis kisses him again, soft and sweet. 

“I want to be with you every day.”

“Me too,” Harry murmurs, going back to kissing Louis’ neck. “Every fucking day.”

“I don’t…don’t want to do everything tonight,” Louis whispers, playing with Harry’s curls. “Wanna save it. Want you to work for it.”

“I will.”

“Don’t want this to be all about sex. I want you to, shit, I want to know you want me.”

“I do,” Harry says thoughtfully. “I want all of you in every way.”

“Me too,” Louis sighs. “God, me too, but, mm, it’ll be special if we…if we wait.”

“Yeah, okay, okay. Can I give you a blowjob, though? You’re so hard,” Harry says, rubbing a palm against his cock. Louis whimpers and nods.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s good.”

Harry kisses him again, going to remove Louis’ shirt. “Mm, keep it on. Wanna do it proper the first time.”

Harry grins at him, because he’s so sweet. This is just about getting off quick and messy, but soon, Louis is going to want Harry and want him the right way. 

He pulls Louis’ cock out of his sweats, pumping him a few times. He’s got nothing on Harry’s size, but he’s still so good. Harry fits him into his mouth in one easy glide, holding Louis’ hips to the bed. Louis’ hips stutter under his hands, moaning in appreciation. His hands get lost in Harry’s curls, tugging.

“Yes,” he whispers. “Oh, yeah, _baby_.”

Harry sneaks a finger into the sweats, behind his balls, rubbing a dry finger against his tight, puckered hole. Louis clenches, humming.

“Oh, fuck, soon,” Louis promises. “I want that, too.”

Harry sucks him harder, licking his tongue against the length, his nose brushing Louis’ tummy. His finger brushes against Louis, using just enough pressure to make Louis squirm but not enough to penetrate him. Louis abs tense and relax every few seconds, moaning beautifully. Harry’s never heard him this soft and pliant for Liam. 

“I’m close,” Louis mutters. “Oh, fuck.”

Harry bobs his head, making his cheeks tight around his cock. Louis swallowed for him, so he wants to return the favor. 

Louis gives a harsh tug on his hair, whining loudly, his body tensing and coming hard down his throat, shaking through it. Harry sucks him down, swallowing the slightly sweet taste of it. He pulls off, pulling Louis’ sweats back up and kissing over his shirt. Louis sits up on his knees and he’s grinning.

“It’s gonna be so worth the wait,” he murmurs, pulling him in for a kiss. “You’re going to be so good.”

“So are you,” Harry says lowly. “Worth the wait.”

Louis interlaces their fingers together, rubbing over the rings. “I like this one,” he whispers, pressing down on the plain silver band with the word peace engraved on it.

“My favorite one,” Harry murmurs, kissing over Louis’ knuckles.  
~  
“Louis? Babe? Where are you? And why are all of the lights off?” Harry calls into the dark apartment. Louis’ apartment is mostly windows, full of natural light during the day and the city lights at night, but it’s pretty dark. Louis usually has a few lamps on, at least, but it almost looks like no one is home now.

“I’m in my room, Haz!”

“It’s dark,” Harry laughs to himself. “Did you pay your electric bill?”

“No, I never do. My dad does, idiot! And of course he did, just come in here!” Louis calls, annoyed. Harry grins, tossing his stuff in the living room and leaving his boots by the door. 

“Alright, I’m coming!”

He opens the door to Louis’ bedroom, his face softening instantly. It’s still dark, but there’s candles lit around the room, small fairy lights hanging from the wall. The room smells fresh, like vanilla or something, and then there’s Louis. He’s sitting on the bed, his legs tucked under his bottom on the bed, one of Harry’s Yale t-shirts on. It’s so big on him, making him look so small and fragile. The city lights behind him giving the room a beautiful glow.

“Hi.” Louis says quietly, giving him a soft smile. 

“Hi. This is…really nice.”

“Yeah?” Louis blushes. “Kicked Zayn out for the night. I…wanted the night alone with you, if that’s alright?”

“Depends on what your intentions with me are,” Harry smiles.

“Well,” Louis stands on his feet, walking slowly over to Harry. His hands come up to Harry’s neck, thumbs brushing his jawline. “You’ve been quite an incredible boyfriend, and you’ve been so patient with me. I think maybe tonight is our night to take things all the way.”

He presses a soft, tender kiss to Harry’s lips. Louis brushes his nose against Harry’s, pressing another kiss to the corner of his mouth. Harry puts his hands on Louis’ waist, pulling their hips together.

“I’d wait forever and a day to have you,” Harry murmurs against his lips. “I’m in no rush.”

“I want you now,” Louis says a little breathlessly. “I wanted it to be perfect.”

“Yeah, it is perfect. You could never mess this up,” Harry kisses him again. “As long as you’re here, it is perfect.”

“I’m sorry this didn’t happen months ago, when it should of.”

“Hey, it’s better now, though. I get to know you before I know your body. I love that, and I love you.”

There’s a short pause, but Louis’ lips brush over Harry’s. “I love you, too.”

Harry lets out a long sigh of relief, pulling him in for a deep kiss. “Okay, I can’t wait any longer now.”

Louis giggles into his mouth, biting his bottom lip softly. “I hope I’m worth all this effort.”

“Not a doubt in my mind, baby.”

Louis takes both of his hands and brings him to the bed, pushing him down and straddling him, toned thighs on either side of Harry’s hips. Harry’s hands fall to his bare thighs, running his fingertips over the smooth expanse. 

“I’m a little nervous,” he admits with a small smile. Louis grins and flicks his fringe out of his face.

“Me too. Never thought I’d be nervous.”

“Especially with you.”

“Yeah.”

“I think we’re worrying over nothing. It’s us, Lou.”

“It’s us.”

“I really want to be inside of you.”

Louis bursts into giggles. “Is this your attempt at dirty talk, then?”

“Hey,” Harry pouts. “I’m not exactly on expert on it, you know.”

“Luckily,” Louis purrs, leaning over and nipping at the skin of Harry’s neck. “I am.”

“Yeah?” Harry breathes, tightening his grip on Louis’ hips. 

“Practice makes perfect, darling,” Louis kisses his jaw. “We’ve got plenty of time to work on it.”

Harry pulls him in to kiss him, smiling into it. He loves this boy so much. Louis sits up and pulls Harry’s shirt off, running his fingertips down the ridges of his abs. Harry’s finally got them perfected; he blew off a lot of sexual tension by going to the gym. His pants come down next, cock falling onto his belly.

“Nice body on you,” Louis grins. “Shit, all the girls are going to be jealous of me.”

“I could say the same for you,” Harry murmurs, his hands running up his t-shirt. “Let me see you.”

Louis bites down a smile, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it. Harry hands are so big compared to his waist, they’re almost able to circle him. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” Harry nips at his belly softly. “Those panties, fuck.”

Louis smiles a little, blushing. He’s got on a pair of black lace underwear, his cock filling them out. “I had dance. It’s easier to wear panties instead of boxers or briefs.”

“Don’t explain, Lou. Fuck, wear these all the time, I love them.”

“Yeah? It’s a little embarrassing.”

“No, god, it’s so hot.”

“Alright,” Louis smiles. 

“Where’s your lube?” 

Louis leans over, grabbing a bottle from the drawer and handing it to Harry. He rolls off of Harry to take of his panties, then straddles him again, his cock bobbing between his legs. He lies his chest on top of Harry’s, holding him by the neck.

“Been a while for me,” he whispers against his lips.

“I’ll be easy, then.”

Louis gives him a shy smile, pressing a kiss to his mouth. Harry squirts lube onto his fingers and reaches behind Louis to poke between his cheeks. He circles around the small entrance and Louis gasps quietly, then giggles.

“This is you.”

“It is me.”

“You’re going to have your cock in my ass, Harry.”

“Preferable,” Harry smiles. “If it’s okay with you.”

“I think it’s very okay with me. Just weird, you know? We’ve been best friends for so long.”

Harry takes this opportunity to slide a finger inside slowly, watching Louis gasp again. He smirks, kissing his cheek. 

“I know, but it’s going to be so good. We’re going to be good together.”

“What if you suck at sex?” Louis asks teasingly. “I’ll have to dump you, then. Sex is a sacred act.”

“We’ll see about that,” Harry squeezes in a second finger abruptly. Louis inhales sharply, hole tightening. “Yeah, I know you like it. I think we’ll be just fine in the sex part of our relationship.”

“Big talk,” Louis grits out, trying to sound firm but letting out a tiny whimper when Harry brushes that little nub inside of him. 

“Bet I can make you come untouched. How about that?”

“Very big talk. Don’t know if you’ll be able to,” Louis grins a bit wickedly.

“Alright, then. If I can do it, you make breakfast in the morning.”

“Deal.”

Harry laughs, kissing him quiet. “For now, shut up. I have work to do.”

Louis rolls his hips against Harry’s, rubbing their cocks together. Harry bites back a moan, pressing a third finger inside of Louis’ tight heat. His cock is hard and leaking at the thought of having Louis wrapped around him, how tight and warm he’ll be.

“You ready or you need more?” Harry asks, his voice soft.

“’m good,” Louis nods. Harry removes his fingers, wiping them against the sheets. Louis reaches over for a condom, rolling it onto Harry’s throbbing member. He sits back onto his knees, reaching behind himself to hold Harry’s cock in his hand. He takes the lube and quickly coats him behind he’s pressing it against his rim. Harry feels him open up around him, the tip enveloped in tight heat. He moans, gripping Louis’ thighs.

“Jesus Christ, you’re so tight.”

Louis shrugs with a grin, slowly sinking down onto his cock. He’s so tight, so pleasantly warm and silky, Harry feels like he’s high off of Louis. He waits for Louis to adjust himself, then smiles up at him.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” Louis says back, pawing at his stomach. “You’re inside of me, Haz.”

“I can see,” Harry reaches down, touching right where they’re bodies are met. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Shush, you,” Louis laughs, a little strangled. He puts his hands on Harry’s thighs, bouncing himself up and down, cock slapping his stomach.

“Fuck, you’re good at this,” Harry moans. “Jesus.”

“Yeah,” Louis laughs again. “Practice makes perfect, I told you. You look, fuck, good like this. Feel good like this, too.”

“Yeah, yeah, so do you,” Harry says. 

“Mm, fuck, this is what we were missing in our friendship.”

Harry cackles at that. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Fucking my best friend. Who knew this would happen?”

“Only in my dreams was this obtainable.”

“C’mere,” Louis giggles, leaning down and grabbing his neck, kissing him deeply. Harry smiles into it, fucking his hips off of the bed.

“I’m not gonna last long,” Harry says. “So tight.”

“I’m not either. We don’t have the best stamina.”

“No, not like this,” Harry says, a little breathlessly. “Oh, fuck, fuck.”

“Me too, Haz. Shit,” Louis’ breath is quick and ragged now. “Not going to even need you to touch me.”

“Fuck,” Harry moans, closing his eyes. His back arches a little, his own breathing staggered and rough. 

“Oh, god,” Louis moans, his fingernails digging into Harry’s biceps. “Fuck!”

“Louis!” Harry shouts, his body seizing up. He chokes out a cry, coming hard enough to see stars. He misses Louis’ orgasm, happening somewhere during Harry’s, because when he opens his eyes, Louis is grinding his hips down quickly, coming shooting over Harry’s belly.

They’re both panting, Louis riding Harry slowly through the aftershocks. “We are so weak.”

“I know,” Louis laughs tiredly. He picks his hips up, shaking visibly. Harry pulls him down onto his chest, pressing kisses all over his face.

“We’ve got plenty of times to improve our skills,” Harry laughs into his ear, peeling the condom off and tossing it into the garbage. “But that was pretty damn good.”

“It was perfect,” Louis whispers, curling himself around Harry’s body. “Guess I’m making breakfast tomorrow.”

Harry laughs, nodding his head and planting a kiss on his forehead. They lie there for a while, catching their breaths and sharing soft touches.

“I want to take you somewhere,” Louis whispers, kissing his jaw. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, anywhere,” Harry whispers back, afraid to speak too loudly. He thinks maybe if he does, this moment will shatter and none of this will be real anymore.

They get dressed quietly and Louis holds his hand, leading him out of the apartment. It’s silent the whole walk, and Harry is just a little nervous.

“Is this where you kill me in a dark alley? Now that you’ve gotten me in bed and used me to your sexual advantage I’m no longer needed?” Harry says, but his hand tightens in Louis’. Louis laughs, loud into the night, grinning at him.

“Yeah, definitely. The sex was so bad I decided to murder you instead of dump you.”

“Knew it.”

“Shh, we’re almost there.”

They end up at Rockefeller Center. Louis opens the door and waves to the two security guards and heads straight for the elevator.

“Is this legal?” Harry whispers.

“My dad works here,” Louis grins. “CEO, actually. I wanted to show you something…important to me.”

Harry’s face softens and kisses Louis’ temple. “Okay.”

Louis hits the rooftop button and folds himself into Harry’s arms. Harry wraps his arms around Louis’, kissing his forehead and rubbing his back. It’s a comfortable silence between them, it always is, and Harry thinks that must mean this is going to work out.

Louis holds his hand again when they walk out into the chilly night again, and Harry looks around. It’s a garden, colorful and vibrant even in the dark night. It’s a little colder up here, but Harry pulls Louis into his arms and feels his warmth.

“This,” Louis says softly. “is my little secret hideaway. I mean, not all the time, because people come up here, but it’s always empty at night, since it’s closed. But they let me up here. Sometimes I dance up here. I can think clearer, you know? I come to organize my thoughts sometimes. I was here before I decided to break it off with Liam, and I was here when I was thinking about you. Ever since I was little, I loved coming up here. I love being this high up and far away from the world. It’s just…an escape from reality, like I’m the only person in the world when I’m up here. I’ve never brought anyone here, not even Liam. Zayn and Niall don’t know about it, either. You’re the only one. I thought you deserved to see it, I owe you.”

“Lou,” Harry murmurs in his ear. “You don’t owe me anything. This is so gorgeous, though. Thank you for taking me up here. Seems like a great place to think.”

“It is,” Louis says. “I make the best choices when I’m up here.”

With that, he gives a squeeze to Harry’s hand, and Harry knows right then that this will be the place he asks Louis to marry him. Maybe not tonight, but when they’re ready. Whether it be in a month or in ten years, this will be the spot.

Harry falls asleep that night in Louis’ warm bed, his boy whispering the promise of _I love you_ into his skin.  
~  
The next time Harry sits in on one of Louis’ dance classes, they’ve been dating for two months. School is out, and Harry is temporarily living with Louis for the summer. It’s nice not having to take the train, constantly going back and forth, and Harry thinks this might be good practice for the rest of their lives. He refuses to let Louis go now that he has him.

“Excellent job today, girls! I’ll see you next week,” Louis smiles, dismissing the class. 

“Why is Harry here?” a girl asks, pointing to Harry sitting on the floor with a book. “I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend?”

“Well,” Louis blushes but smiles proudly. “He’s my boyfriend now. He wasn’t the first time, but that’s because I was silly and didn’t realize I loved him.”

He glances at Harry when he speaks, giving him a warm, private smile. Harry grins at him, his chest expanding with love. 

“You two are so cute!” another girl says. “Are you going to get married and have babies together?”

Harry momentarily panics. They haven’t discussed anything like that yet. It’s only been two months, and Harry didn’t want to scare him off with that kind of talk, but he’s quickly reassured when Louis grins.

“Yeah, I think maybe we will. Not right now, we have to finish school, just like the rest of you,” he points. “Then after that, yeah, maybe.”

The girls squeal happily and Harry almost joins in. This isn’t one sided anymore; Louis wants to be with Harry just as badly as Harry wants to be with Louis. This is real and genuine now, and Harry can’t seem to grasp that yet.

“Does Harry know how to dance? He’ll have to know for your wedding,” a girl says like it’s obvious. Louis bursts into a fit of giggles, hand coming to cover his mouth.

“He knows a little. Not like me, but I think he’s decent enough,” Louis says, giving him a discrete wink. Harry can’t dance, but when they’re in a club and they’ve got a few drinks in them, he’s exceptionally good at grinding against Louis’ ass. Past the drunken club dancing, he’s pretty shit. 

“We should make him practice so he’s really good at your wedding!”

“He hasn’t asked him to marry me yet, sweetie,” Louis laughs. “Maybe he doesn’t want to marry me.”

“I do,” Harry says, standing up and walking over to Louis in front of all of these little girls. “Want to marry you, that is. Somewhere down the line. But you have to let me ask you properly, this doesn’t count. I need a redo.”

Louis smiles, the crinkles by his eyes deep and his eyes shining bright. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair.”

Harry pulls him in for a kiss in front of his whole class, the girls awing and cooing over them. Louis giggles into it, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck. Their foreheads bump together and Harry kisses the corner of his mouth.

“One day, I promise.”  
~  
Harry is a man of his word. It’s a not until a year later, right after they’ve both graduated college, but it happens. He thinks now they’re ready, finally a bit settled. Now that Louis has just landed himself a role as a dancer on Broadway and Harry is starting his law school, they’re moving forward in the right direction. Everything seems to be going so well for the two of them, and Harry wants to do this at exactly the right time.

He’s got the night completely planned out and had to pull some strings, but he’s managed to get it all together. It’s, of course, on the rooftop. Harry is a bit sweaty underneath his sports jacket, considering it’s the middle of June and starting to get hot out. Or he’s just ridiculously nervous. Maybe it’s both, he can’t really tell. 

He checks his phone and sees a text from Louis, confirming that he’s on his way up and he’ll be there soon. Harry rubs his sweaty palms against his pants, letting out a deep breath. He’s got the ring in his pocket, ready to be presented. Harry feels a little bit like throwing up right now.

“Harry?” Louis calls, his voice warm and silky. Harry turns to face him, grinning wide. He looks so amazing when he’s all dressed up in his blazer and his light brown Oxford shoes, his hair styled beautifully on top of his head. 

“Hey,” Harry says, his smiley probably so pathetically dopey. “You look amazing.”

“I can say the same for you, Mr. Styles,” Louis murmurs, moving towards Harry and pulling him in by the loose ends of his jacket. God, Louis might be Mr. Styles soon. Well, maybe not, maybe he’ll go by Tomlinson-Styles, or maybe Harry will change his name to Tomlinson. Except, shit, Louis hasn’t even said yes yet.

“Thanks for coming,” Harry says softly, pressing a kiss to Louis’ lips.

“Course. What are we doing? Looks gorgeous up here. I like the flowers.”

“Yeah,” Harry tries to laugh. “I tried. I’ve got reservations set for us, but I…I wanted to ask you something first. We’re gonna eat and stuff, I swear.”

“Okay…” Louis says slowly, raising an eyebrow in question. “Scaring me a bit, babe.”

“Uh, okay, so, I just want to come out and say it.”

“I’m listening. You look a little pale, this must be serious. Is everything okay?” Louis asks, seeming genuinely concerned. 

“Yeah, of course, babe,” Harry sighs. He shakes his head a little, rolling his shoulders and dropping down onto one knee. He can hear Louis’ sharp intake of breath, and he prays to god that’s a good thing.

“Louis, I made a promise to myself after the first time you brought me up here. I told myself this would be the spot I made us forever. After that night with you, I realized I couldn’t take the chance in letting you get away. You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed for and so much more. If someone told me to draw up my ideal perfect partner, I’d draw you exactly how you are. I promise to take care of you, to love you endlessly, to cherish our relationship and be everything you need if you’ll have me. So, I’m, uh, I’m asking if…if you’d marry me?”

He pulls out the little black box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a shinning silver band, embedded with diamonds. He looks up at Louis, his hand over his mouth in shock, his eyes shiny with tears. 

“Harry, yes, of course I’ll marry you!” Louis shouts, tackling Harry so hard the box flies out of his hand, ring falling out and dropping down the 70-floor building. Louis looking down at Harry, and they both burst into laughter. 

“Romantic,” Harry chuckles. “Very.”

“I hope you have insurance. I will take back my yes if I don’t have a ring, Styles,” Louis says, poking his finger into Harry’s chest. 

“I’ll get you anything you want, baby.”  
~  
“Well,” Louis says, glancing out the window, tucked into one of Harry’s sweaters and his yoga pants, furry slippers on his feet. “Guess we aren’t leaving for a while. The snow out there is awful.”

“So our vacation lasts a little longer,” Harry grins crookedly. “Doesn’t seem too bad. I think I like being snowed in with you.”

Louis smiles and sits on his lap, kissing him softly. “I’m going to make us some tea.”

“Alright, I’m gonna see if Nick has any movies or something.”

“Mkay,” Louis says, kissing him again. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”

He gets up and walks away, leaving Harry alone. He goes to check out the cabin, looking in boxes and bins. His friend Nick is a bit older than him, and he comes here a lot with his boyfriend. He let Harry and Louis use it for the weekend to get away for a while. They’ve got the fireplace going and it’s so painfully romantic, Harry could stay here forever with his boy.

He doesn’t find anything in the living room, so he goes to the bedroom. There’s a wooden box underneath one of the windows, a heavy blanket draped over it. Harry gets on his knees and opens the box to inspect it further.

“Nick, you absolute whore,” Harry laughs quietly to himself. There’s an array of sex toys, bondage equipment, a box of make up, and all sorts of lingerie. Well, Harry thinks, their night is certainly planned out now.

“Honey, tea is ready!” Louis calls. Harry doesn’t answer, too busy rifling through different toys. It’s like a sex shop, anything and everything available to him. Harry finds an absolute perfect little outfit for Louis to wear.

“Babe?” Louis calls again, stepping into the bedroom. “Did you hear me?”

Harry looks over his shoulder and grins. “This is more interesting than tea.”

“What is it?” Louis asks, his face scrunching up. He walks over to the box and peers inside, and Louis can hear him gasp quietly. “Oh.”

“Think I found something for us to do tonight.”

“Yeah,” Louis agrees, his voice soft. “Okay.”

“I want you to wear this,” Harry says, handing Louis a few pieces of lingerie and the box of make up. “Will you do that for me?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Louis whispers, feeling the material through his fingers. “Let me…let me go change.”

Louis walks to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. Harry peeks into the box again, grapping what he feels he should. He finds a Polaroid camera and takes that out first, deciding that tonight is something he definitely would like to remember. 

There’s so much in there, Harry can’t even imagine what kind of vacations Nick has taken. While Louis is in the bathroom, he sets up the room the way he wants, ready to surprise Louis. 

There’s a fat, long dildo with a suction cup at the end that Harry takes out first, grinning wickedly. There’s a perfect wall of mirrors for Harry to attach it to, testing out the height of it. There’s a pair of fur lined handcuffs and matching ankle ones, made to tie ankles to the bedposts. There’s a bunch of different lubes that Harry takes out, seeing what Louis prefers. He’s surprisingly picky about his lube, saying some don’t feel as good as others. And they found out the hard way that he’s allergic to flavored lube. That was a long night.

“Harry,” Louis sings from the doorway, strutting over wearing black thigh high stockings with little red bows with garters that attach to a pair of deep red lace panties. His cock is obscene in them, already mostly hard. Louis’ legs are always shaved for dance, but they look so smooth, like Louis just lathered lotion all over them. His eyes are darkly lined with black and mascara making his lashes longer than usual, and a touch of gold eye shadow over his lids. His hair is held back by a silk red headscarf, crowning around him. Harry’s knees almost give out.

“Louis,” Harry manages to say, voice dark and hoarse. 

“Is it too much?” he asks quietly, a blush on his cheeks. He’s never one to be shy, and he seemed confident just a moment ago, but Harry’s gawking probably isn’t helping.

“God, no. You look so beautiful. I want to see you,” Harry says. “I’ve got everything ready for you, sweetheart.”

Louis walks closer, blinking up at Harry through his thick eyelashes. 

“Am I a pretty girl?” he whispers. 

“Prettiest one I’ve ever seen in my life,” Harry answers thoughtfully. If he wants to play it that way, Harry is definitely on board. “Got so much planned for my baby girl.”

Louis’ eyes darken, and he’s definitely into it. Alright, then. Feminization. He can do this.

“Is that for me?” he asks sweetly, pointing to the monster suctioned to the mirror. 

“All for you, baby doll. Gotta finger your cunt a little first, make sure you can take it. It’s real big,” Harry says slowly. “Can I take some pictures of you first? Will you pose for me a bit?”

“Okay,” Louis nods. “Yeah.” 

Harry takes the camera and makes sure there’s enough photo paper in it, pointing it at Louis. “Wanna show off your pretty face first before your make up gets ruined.”

Louis smiles, letting Harry flash the camera. He takes a few of his face, capturing him in all his beauty. He looks so sexy with make up, it’s going to kill Harry. 

“Absolutely beautiful,” Harry murmurs. “Turn around, wanna show off those nice legs for me?”

Louis grins, turning around and bending over slightly, giving Harry a look at his cheeks. His body has such a great figure, his hips larger than his slim waist, giving him an hourglass shape. Harry is hands down the luckiest man in the entire world. 

“Is your pussy wet for me?” Harry asks, snapping a picture of Louis looking behind his shoulder.

“Very,” he purrs back.

“I can’t wait to see,” Harry says. “Sit on the bed for me, let me get a few pictures of you there.”

Louis obliges, sitting crossed legged on the bed and listens to the ways Harry wants him to pose. Harry has total control here, and he’s buzzing. He gets a good set of pictures, putting them on the bed for now.

“Alright, let me finger that little wet pussy now, yeah? Want that?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis nods. He gets on his hands and knees and Harry gets behind him, dropping to his own knees. Harry moves Louis’ panties away from his hole, giving him just enough room to work with. He slicks his fingers up with lube, pressing two fingers into Louis without warning or preamble. They just fucked last night, so he shouldn’t be too tight.

“Mm, such a nice, tight cunt, baby,” Harry purrs, kissing the small dimples on his back. “Can’t wait to fuck you until you squirt. You gonna squirt for me? Be a good girl and squirt?”

“Uh huh,” Louis nods, hands braced on the plush carpet below. Harry makes a mental note not to keep him on his knees too long because he doesn’t want him to get rug burn. 

Harry thrusts his fingers deep inside of him, his rings get caught on his rim. Louis mewls, hole clenching greedily around his digits. 

“You wanna get fucked, don’t you, baby girl? That’s what you really want, huh? Wanna fuck yourself on that nice toy I have for you?” Harry asks softly, a third finger pressing into Louis’ wet heat. Louis only whines in response. Harry runs his hand up Louis spine and yanks his hair, pulling his head back. “Words, baby doll.”

“Yes,” Louis enunciates the word. “Yes.”

“Think three is enough for you to handle that big cock over there? Gonna stretch your pussy out,” Harry says, twisting his fingers sharply, brushing his prostate. Louis gasps and nods.

“I’m good,” he says. “Good, good.”

Harry pulls his fingers out slowly, feeding them to Louis. “Suck,” he instructs, watching Louis’ lips wrap around them, his eyes fluttering shut and licking them clean. “Good girl.”

When he pulls his fingers out, Louis holds his wrist and takes one of Harry’s silver rings off, putting it on his own finger. It’s too big, but he likes how it looks. Harry vaguely thinks of the day where Louis will be wearing a wedding ring that Harry gives him. 

“Looks beautiful,” Harry says, kissing him once, soft and sure. He helps Louis up, a little wobbly on his feet, and brings him over to the mirror. “Sure you can take it?”

“Yes,” Louis rolls his eyes, grinning. “I’m a big girl, I’ve got it.”

Harry smirks, giving his ass a quick slap. “Alright, then. Let me see you.”

Louis slicks up the dildo with a good amount of lube, tugging on it like he would Harry’s cock. Harry watches intently, deciding now might be a good time to get naked. He tosses off his shirt and lets his pants pool around him, stepping out of them and tugging his cock a bit harshly. 

Louis spreads his cheeks, glancing back at the mirror and pressing against the fake cock, watching it disappear slowly inside of him. He moans obscenely loud, biting his lip. 

“So big in my pussy,” Louis says softly. “Mm, fuck.”

Harry grabs the camera quickly, stepping in front of Louis and snapping a picture of Louis bent over getting fucked. “Suck my dick, baby.”

Louis holds Harry’s hips for balance, licking up his shaft and looking up at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yeah, baby, fuck your pussy with that cock. Looks so good inside of you.”

Louis ducks down and fits Harry into his mouth, pushing his hips back further. Harry looks behind him, the dildo disappearing further and further. Harry isn’t even sure how he’s doing this. It’s huge, and they don’t have any toys at home quite as big as this one, but Louis is taking it down, moaning around Harry’s cock in his mouth.

“Fuck, it’s so deep, baby. Can you get the whole thing inside of you?” Harry asks, tugging on his hair. “Let me see how deep you can get that nice fat cock.”

Louis moans again, his back arching as he takes it deeper, pausing for a moment, and thrusting shallowly. He’s almost there, only a bit of the base left, but Harry wants to push him further. 

“Wanna see you up against those balls,” Harry says lowly. “Put your ass right against them.”

Louis groans around his cock, pushing back and his hips stutter against them. “Don’t run away from it, baby. Wanna see you fuck the whole thing. Feel it deep inside of you?”

Louis nods, sucking Harry down further, forcing his hips down hard, wiggling his hips. He moves up, then down, and up, fucking it shallowly with a quick rhythm. Harry pulls at his hair a bit more, loving the way Louis’ back arching when he tugs, letting out a small noise each time. 

“Wanna come like this? I think you do, yeah? But I’m not going to let you,” Harry says lowly, rubbing his temple with his thumb. “Later, though.”

Louis makes a noise of disapproval, his nose brushing against Harry’s pubes. Harry grins wickedly, rocking his hips a little. “Mm, not gonna be able to scream after this. Throats gonna be so raw.”

There’s a soft squelching noise each time Louis fucks down on the dildo, all the lube making it extra slick. He’s sure Louis is hard as a rock, but he won’t touch him, at least not yet. That’ll come later on.

“Fuck, baby, ‘m gonna come, right down your throat. Swallow for me, okay? Be a good girl and swallow it.”

Louis gives another moan, his hips slowly down, probably trying to stop himself from coming. Louis is so good at coming untouched, just getting off with something inside him. He always knows how to move his hips, just the right way to angle his body. Harry thinks it’s because of all the practice he has up his sleeve.

“Mm,” Harry groans, bucking his hips up into Louis’ mouth. “Gonna come, baby. So fucking close.”

Louis’ head bobs perfectly, suckling lightly on the head. His bright eyes blink blearily up at him, almost innocent, and Harry let’s out a strangled groan, his hips stuttering and coming so hard his vision goes a little blurry. He can vaguely hear Louis choke a bit, but then it stops, and it’s bliss.

“Oh, god, yeah, baby. Fuck, let’s get you on the bed, okay? Let me take care of that pussy, make you squirt so good,” Harry says, not even sure if his words are making sense anymore. Louis slowly pulls his hips off the toy, a small popping noise ringing in Harry’s ears. He stands up, his make up only a little smudged. Harry can change that. 

Harry leads him to the bed and grabs the handcuffs, dangling them in the air. Louis’ eyes are wide and his body looks totally pliant. He looks absolutely submissive right now.

“Legs up in the air, sweetheart,” Harry instructs gently. Louis lifts them with no problem, high up in the sky, and Harry takes his ankles, kissing the inside of each. He cuffs his right ankle and locks it around the bedpost behind him, then repeats it with the left foot. His legs are stretched out like a large V, his hole shiny and stretched underneath the wet lace. “Such a nice look on you.”

Harry cuffs his hands together above his head and drops a kiss to his mouth. “How about we use this pretty headscarf as a blindfold, yeah?”

“Okay,” Louis’ voice is raw and beautiful. Harry drops the scarf around his eyes, tying it around his head.

“Too tight?”

“No.”

“Can you see anything?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Harry picks up a slim pink vibrator, inspecting it and grinning. He pushes Louis’ panties to the side again and presses the plastic easily inside of him. Louis makes a quiet noise, biting his lip. Harry flicks it on to the lowest setting and watches Louis shiver slightly. 

He slicks his cock up silently, pressing it next to the small toy, Louis hole expanding just enough to fit him inside. The noise Louis makes is absolutely beautiful. 

“Like that, baby doll?” Harry whispers. 

“Yes,” Louis replies softly. 

“Me too,” Harry murmurs, flicking the switch to the next highest setting. Harry groans a little, his cock vibrating pleasantly, Louis tight heat engulfing him. He can’t even imagine how Louis must feel. His cock is leaking and hard in his panties, straining against the confining material. “Want me to rub your clit and make you come?”

“Yes, yes, please,” Louis answers quickly. Harry palms Louis, not bothering to take him out of the panties, and Louis sobs, painting the lace and his belly white with only a few strokes from all the build up. 

“What a nice squirt, baby,” Harry praises. “Can you do it again for me?” 

“Yeah,” Louis says shakily, his thighs quivering in the air. Harry’s cock fills Louis deeper, sliding in slowly and turning the toy on another notch. “Ohhh.”

“Nice, isn’t it? Fuck, feels good on my cock, too. Pussy is so wet and tight for me. Such a good girl.”

Louis whines, his cock slowly starting to fatten up already. Harry gives the vibrator a twist and pushes it in at a slightly different angle, Louis’ body twitching with it. “Mm, fuck.”

“Let’s see what the last setting on here does, baby,” Harry says, turning it to its highest setting. Louis’ back arches beautifully off the mattress, his mouth opened up wide. It is good, definitely good, against Harry’s cock, vibrating in quick, strong pulses. “Jesus, baby, gonna make me come again.”

Louis bites the inside of his cheek, Harry thrusting harder. Louis’ body rocks with each thrust, taking everything Harry gives. His hole looks so fucked open like this, trying to hold on to what it has. Harry knows he’s not going to last much longer, his balls already drawing up and his belly tightening.

“Louis, baby, fuck. Gonna come inside of you, yeah? Can I?”

“Yes, yes,” Louis nods, tossing his head to the side of the pillow. “Shit.”

It only takes him a few more thrusts, circling his hips and his abs tensing, dumping himself inside of Louis. Louis whines loudly, legs pulling against the chains. Harry shakes a little as the vibrator buzzes against his softening cock. He turns it off quickly, tossing it aside and pulling himself out. Louis hole drips white, falling into the small wrinkles and down his crack.

“You doing okay, baby girl?”

“Yeah, yeah, ‘m good,” Louis nods his head, his cheek against the pillow. He’s flushed down to his chest, sweat shining over him. 

Harry ducks down, then, swiping his tongue around Louis’ hole, cleaning him up. Louis mewls, back arching and chains rattling. Harry is well aware that Louis _loves_ being eaten out. He can come alone from this so quickly, just from Harry’s tongue teasing him. And the sounds Louis makes while being eaten always go right to Harry’s cock. 

“Mm,” Louis moans. “Gonna come soon, Harry. Fuck, I’m so-so close.”

“So nice and wet for me,” Harry groans, licking his own come from his hole. “You’re such a good girl.”

“Ah,” Louis whimpers, biting his lip and tossing his head back. His legs quiver from being up for so long and his impending orgasm making his muscles weak. “Can…can I come? Please, please.”

Harry can’t believe Louis is begging now, sounding absolutely ruined and nearly exhausted. “Yeah, baby, go ahead and come for me,” he says, tongue lapping around his hole. “Lemme see you come.”

Louis mewls, high in his throat, his hands clenched into fists. That pleasant wave of heat washes over him, causing his back to arch and his heart to race. He lets out a strangled cry, shooting over his soft belly again, breathing labored. He shakes so hard, his legs starting to ache, and Harry knows he can’t stay like this much longer. 

Harry licks up the come on his stomach, biting softly. “Let me get you out of these.”

“Please.”

Harry gets him out of the handcuffs, letting him lay flat on the bed and stretch his limbs. He unties the blindfold and kisses his sweaty forehead. “You alright? Feeling okay?”

“Tired, a bit sore, but so good,” Louis grins lazily up at Harry, the way he always does after a good orgasm. 

“You look proper wrecked, now,” Harry says, grabbing the camera and taking a quick shot of his boy on his back, make up smeared and hair tousled every which way. He shows the Polaroid to Louis, who just smiles softly, and gives it back to Harry.

“I wanna shower, but I can’t move my body. Cuddle me?”

“I will never say no to cuddling.”  
~  
“I was thinking we could serve mimosas before the ceremony. Well, obviously not like, us personally, but the waiters and waitresses. Like, since it’s the morning, just give them a little something while they’re waiting for us. Might be nice, y’know?” Louis says, his wedding book planner in his lap on the couch with his glasses perched on his nose and a ratty Yale t-shirt of Harry’s. 

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Harry says. “Gives them something to do.”

Louis smiles and turns back to the book, writing down a little side note. He’s really into the wedding planning, and Harry is completely endeared. Louis wanted to take care of everything himself rather than hiring someone to do it for them. So far, it sounds like it’s going to be an absolutely beautiful day, and Harry can’t wait to put a ring on Louis’ finger and make it official. He just doesn’t have the energy or time to put into it like Louis does. He trusts Louis’ judgment, though, and he’s sure this is going to be incredible.

“We haven’t talked about where we’re going to live,” Harry says absently, tracing patterns on Louis’ shoulders.

“What do you mean?” Louis asks. “We live here.”

“No, I mean when we get married.”

“We live here,” Louis says again, slower. 

“Yeah, but…I figured we would move.”

“Why would you think that? This is our home, isn’t it?”

“No, yeah, of course, but I mean…the city isn’t a place to raise kids,” Harry shrugs halfheartedly. “And I thought kids was something we wanted.”

“Excuse me? I was raised here and turned out perfectly fine. What’s wrong with the city? It’s my home.”

“I just, I don’t know. I always thought we’d be somewhere…I don’t know, more suburban?”

“You mean like where you’re from? Why does it have to be where you were brought up?”

“It doesn’t!” Harry sighs. “I just think it’d be nicer when we have kids.”

“I’m not going to just drop everything and leave because you said so.”

“I never said that, Louis. Why are you getting so upset about this?”

“Because you’re making me change everything!” he shouts.

“I’m not!” Harry groans. “I thought we could at least talk about it. It doesn’t have to be my home town, just…not the city, maybe.”

“When did you plan to tell me this, exactly? Were you just going to move me out one day and surprise me?” Louis asks, crossing his arms.

“What is your problem right now? Why are you so angry with me? I wanted to talk about this calmly. Can’t you listen to me first?”

“I like it here, Harry, okay? Why should I leave?”

“It seems like I’m the one giving everything up then, Louis. If we’re going to stay here, that means I give up my home. Why is that fair? Wouldn’t it make sense for us to find mutual territory and start off fresh together?”

“Well,” Louis pouts, sinking further into the couch. “I don’t know, maybe.”

“How about I get a realtor, and we can look together and decide on what we would both be happy with? We can even stay in New York, maybe just not the city itself. We’ll see what each of us like and what we don’t like, get a feel for what we’d be comfortable in. You might find this fun.”

“It just sounds like so much work,” Louis sighs.

“We don’t really have a deadline though. We can take as much time as we want.”

“Alright. Alright, okay, let’s…look for a house,” Louis finally says.

“Yeah? You’ll look?”

“If it stops your whining,” Louis smiles a little. “then yes, I’ll look with you.

“That’s all I’m asking,” Harry grins, giving him a loud kiss on the cheek.  
~  
“This is the house,” Louis says quietly to Harry, standing outside of it with his hands on his hips. “This is it.”

“Yeah? We haven’t even gone inside,” Harry laughs.

“This is it, though. I can feel it.”

“I hope so, because this is the nine hundredth house we’ve looked at.”

“Quiet, you,” Louis scolds. “You told me there was no rush, and it’s you that wants to get out.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Harry sighs. 

“Come on, let’s see it,” Louis says, squeezing Harry’s hand and smiling at the real estate agent who probably hates them by now. Every house she’s shown them, Louis has absolutely despised. Harry tries to be positive, but Louis won’t have any of it.

“I think this house will be a little more to your liking. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, great neighborhood with a wonderful school system. It’s got a big backyard and an in ground pool. Kitchen was just updated recently with all new appliances and granite counter tops. It’s a great home to raise children,” she explains, knowing good and well that Louis brings up children every chance he can. Every time they see a house, Louis uses some sort of excuse that it’s not fit for their future children, causing their real estate agent to forcer herself not to roll her eyes and walk out. Harry feels for her; he gets it, because he’s married to Louis, and knows what a pain in the ass he can be. But Harry loves him more than he thought possible, and he wouldn’t change anything about him. 

“Sounds fantastic,” Louis says, grinning brightly, eyeing all the flowers planted in front of the house. Harry knows he won’t be able to keep up with the plants, because God knows he doesn’t have time for that, and knowing Louis, he’ll just forget and let them die, so hiring a gardener might be in order. 

“It’s beautiful, huh, Harry?” Louis says, his eyes shining bright. Harry hasn’t seen him this excited about a house, and it’s thrilling. 

“Yeah, I like it. But I like anything you like, babe. I’ll be happy if you’re happy,” Harry shrugs.

“Such a sap,” Louis smiles, patting his abs. “You were a great pick of spouse.”

“Thanks,” Harry laughs. They follow the real estate agent into the house, and Harry watches Louis more than he actually pays attention to the interior decorations. 

“This is it, Haz, I’m telling you,” Louis says seriously and confidentially. The real estate agent looks absolutely relieved, and Harry feels the same.

“You sure? Won’t change your mind on me?” Harry teases. “We didn’t even see the whole house.”

“I told you I have a feeling,” Louis shrugs. “Let’s see the rest of it.”

They tour around it, learn little tidbits of information about the history of it and all the new parts added on. There’s an empty room with a large amount of space, meant to be a bedroom or large office, but Louis’ eyes light up.

“Harry,” Louis says quietly. “I can make this into a dance studio. Could I?” 

“That would be great,” Harry smiles warmly. “Of course you can. We’ll put a wall of mirrors and your ballet bar; do whatever you want with it. Maybe give it a fresh coat of paint.”

“God, you’re the best!” Louis yells happily. “This is the house, this is it. We have to get this house!”

Louis throws his arms around Harry’s neck, hiding his grin into Harry’s neck. Harry picks him up off the ground, holding him close and smiling at their real estate agent, mouthing a ‘thank you’, causing her to smile.  
~  
Harry knows from the minute he wakes up to Louis tossing clothes all over their bedroom and mumbling to himself about god knows what. He knows when he hears curses from Louis and a major coffee spill in the kitchen that it’s a bad day. He knows it’s a bad day when Louis leaves his keys behind and forgets to kiss Harry goodbye.

He doesn’t know how bad of a day it is until he gets a phone call during his class.

“Louis? I’m in class, babe, what’s up?” Harry asks quietly, standing out in the hallway.

“You have to come to the hospital,” Louis says. He’s not crying, though. He seems fairly calm, but he’s got a bitter sound to his voice.

“What? Is everything alright? What happened?” Harry asks. Maybe Louis is calm, but Harry is in a panicked state already. 

“Can you just come down, please?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I’m coming now,” Harry sighs. “I love you.”

Louis hangs up the line without an answer. Well, there isn’t much improvement in their day so far.  
~  
It turns out this may be their worst day ever.

“I got here as soon as I could, there was some traffic,” Harry rushes into the hospital room, finding Louis in a gown and looking horribly angry. Harry’s not sure if he’s mad at him or at himself. He sits next to him, grabbing his hand and kissing his knuckles. “Want to tell me what’s going on now?”

“Tore my ACL and partially tore my meniscus at dance today,” Louis says lowly, staring at the wall ahead. “Said there’s no way I can continue my dance career with this injury and my age.”

“Oh, Louis,” Harry breathes. “God, babe, I’m so sorry. How did it happen?”

“I was trying to do a leap and I fell over. I felt a twist in my knee and…Jessica called 911. They did an MRI and told me. I didn’t want to call you at first because I knew you had class and I didn’t want to scare you if it was nothing. They have to do surgery and then I’ll be on crutches for a while and physical therapy. So, my career is officially over.”

“You don’t have to be brave about this,” Harry says quietly. “I know how much this sucks.”

“It sucks a lot,” Louis sniffs, looking down at his hands. “I worked so hard to get here. And now that everything was finally…finally in place, it’s ruined.”

“C’mere,” Harry murmurs, standing up and pulling Louis into a tight embrace. Louis rarely cries, he’s usually so brave and strong, and now he’s going to fall apart at the seams. “We’re going to get through this though. Your health is what’s most important.”

“I’m going to be stuck at home doing nothing,” Louis moans. “I’m going to be fucking helpless. I can’t do anything.”

“We’re going to work together and get through this, baby. I’m going to help you however I can. We’ll make it through this. You had a very good run, baby, and I am enormously proud of all you’ve accomplished,” Harry says firmly, kissing Louis’ forehead. “We should get you home. I’ll get you into bed, make you a nice dinner, okay? Does it hurt?”

“Gave me painkillers,” Louis sighs, sniffing again. “Think I’m just…tired.”

“I know, baby. I know,” Harry sighs, pressing another kiss to his forehead. “I’m going to talk to the doctor really quick and see what we can do, alright?”

“Okay,” Louis whispers. “Come back soon.”

“I’ll be super quick,” Harry promises, kissing Louis’ lips and moving into the hallway.

After a talk with the doctor, Harry wheels Louis out of the hospital, listening to his tiny whimpers. The doctor gave Harry a run down of what Louis would be doing. He’ll be on crutches and a brace for a few weeks before they perform surgery. After surgery, he’ll go back to the brace and crutches and start physical therapy, and from there, he should be doing better. He won’t be well enough to go back to dancing, at least not the way he was with his career. His knee won’t have enough stability to get back to his Broadway show, and that was the worst part of it all. 

Harry doesn’t have any idea what to say to Louis or how to make it better. Louis is quiet all night, occasionally letting out a small sob or a few stray tears, but otherwise silent. When Harry tucks him into bed that night, he holds Louis close, playing with his hair and pressing kisses to his face. It’s then, finally, that Louis speaks.

“I want to have a baby.”

It’s said so quietly that Harry isn’t sure Louis actually said it. Harry thinks he may have stopped breathing.

“What did you say, Lou? I couldn’t hear you,” Harry tries softly.

“I want to have a baby,” Louis says a bit louder, his fingers drumming on Harry’s torso.

“With me?”

“Uh, well, we’re married. I thought the ‘with you’ was implied.”

“You…you want us to have a baby,” Harry says slowly.

“Yes. I think we should have a baby. I can’t work anymore and I won’t have much to do,” Louis shrugs a little, kissing between Harry’s collarbones softly. “Do you want a baby?”

“Of course I do,” Harry says. “But I just want to make sure this is what you really want and it’s not the painkillers talking.”

“It’s not,” Louis promises. “Been thinking about when the right time to settle down would be. I guess now is as good a time as ever. I won’t have much to do, might as well raise some kids.”

“I’d absolutely love to have a baby with you, Louis.”

Louis smiles up at him, his eyes bright and teary, and a weary smile on his lips. He presses a kiss to Harry’s mouth, soft and loving.

“I can’t wait.”  
~  
“Would you like to see your baby, daddies?” a nurse asks softly, smiling widely at the two boys in the waiting room. Louis whips his head to look at Harry, his face a mix of joy and terror. Harry grabs his hand and squeezes it, giving the nurse a weary smile.

“Yes, please.”

Harry stands, helping Louis stand up with his knee brace. He knows how irritating it must be, and it won’t be easy to handle with a newborn baby, but they’re up for the challenge. Besides, Louis should be out of it in a few weeks. They’ve got this.

He can feel Louis trembling under Harry’s touch, holding him close to his side. Harry presses a kiss to his temple and rubs his shoulder. “Relax, Lou,” he murmurs into his ear, squeezing his bicep. Louis gives a small nod, biting his lip. 

The nurse holds the door open for them, allowing them to walk through the threshold. Their surrogate, Hayley, is holding this unbelievably tiny baby in a soft pink blanket, and Harry can feel his heart stop. He wasn’t nervous at all, he was fine, up until this moment of realizing _yeah, that little girl is mine, and she’s going to be coming home with us. I’m responsible for that little person, and god, am I lucky_. 

Louis is frozen in his tracks, his mouth slightly agape, his eyes wide and glassy. Harry gets it, honestly. This overwhelming feeling of love and nerves and excitement are completely indescribable. They have a baby.

“Would you like to hold her?” Hayley asks gently, looking at Louis. 

“I…yeah. Yes, please,” Louis nods once, but he hasn’t moved.

“Lou,” Harry nudges softly. “C’mere.”

Harry helps him over to the chair, telling him gently to watch his knee while Louis bats him off, eyes not moving away from the little bundle in the blanket. Harry takes the baby from Hayley’s offering arms, and he’s never felt bigger in his life. She’s so small, so fragile, and he’s afraid one wrong move will make her shatter. He’s staring down at her, looking at her soft features, the light hairs over her head, her pink cheeks. He thinks he could stare at her forever.

“She’s mine too, you know,” Louis suddenly breaks the silence, his voice hoarse and teasing. “Don’t hog her.”

“Sorry,” Harry says, his voice sounding foreign to himself. He passes the little precious ball of sunshine over to Louis, and god, he’s already wrapped around her little finger now. This is what it’s like to be a father, then. 

“Hello,” Louis speaks softly, his finger stroking her cheek. “Welcome to the world, baby. Me and your papa over there are gonna be the best daddies in the whole world, I think. I hope that’s okay with you.”

“She’s the luckiest little girl,” Hayley smiles tiredly. “You two are going to be amazing parents.”

“She’s beautiful,” Louis whispers. “She’s the most…gorgeous baby ever.”

“I know,” Harry breathes, crouching down next to Louis to run a warm hand over the newborn’s head. “And she’s ours.”

“This is insane,” Louis laughs wetly. “We’ve got a baby. We’re daddies now.”

“We are. And we’re going to be so good at it,” Harry sighs happily, nuzzling his nose into Louis’ temple. 

“Did you pick out a name for her yet?” Hayley asks.

“Mia Grace Styles,” Louis smiles wide, holding onto the baby’s tiny hand. 

“Our little Mia,” Harry murmurs, kissing Louis’ forehead.  
~  
“Wanna go visit daddy today?” Harry asks his baby boy, playing with his tiny, socked feet. He’s so in love with his kids and his husband. Their new edition to the family, Ethan, is this one-year-old tiny ball of happiness and giggles, and Harry is so endeared. Since it’s Saturday, Louis is teaching Mia’s ballet class for 5 year olds and Harry’s got the day off from work, giving him a morning with Ethan.

Harry and Louis promised Mia they’d go into the city and see the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City and see the tree in Rockefeller Center. Harry already knows she’s going to convince them into making a Toys R Us stop, and definitely a hot chocolate stop. 

Harry knows that Louis misses the city; misses the fast pace of it and the crowds and the environment, but he knows that Louis secretly loves their suburban home with their big backyard and their swing set. Their lives have slowed down drastically in the last five years, but Harry wouldn’t change it for anything. He likes waking up with a reliable routine. He loves waking up to Louis every day, making them coffee and breakfast while Louis feeds Ethan. It usually goes much the same each day, both of them sharing the work and responsibilities of the house and the kids. He loves it, honestly. He loves the stability of it all. He loves his family.

Ethan smiles up at Harry with his toothless grin, drooling down his chin. He’s got Louis’ blue eyes. “Yeah? We’ll go see daddy and Mia. Then we’ll go see the big Christmas tree and everything. Sound good to you?”

Ethan gurgles with a smile, and Harry’s heart could just burst out of his chest every time he looks at one of his kids. Or Louis. Louis makes him feel that way too. But, maybe a bit differently. 

Once Harry gets Ethan fed and all bundled up for the cold December day, they head off to the dance studio. Harry loves watching in on the class because his little girl is so into dance, just like her father. It’s so great to watch his favorite people do something they’re so passionate about and be so good at it. He’s so glad Mia took after Louis in the sense of passion, because she certainly didn’t get it from Harry.  
~  
“Reach the sky…and then touch the ground….” Louis says softly, bending over to touch the floor. God, he’s still so flexible. Harry stands in the doorway holding Ethan in his arms, grinning at the scene in front of him. He could watch this all day, honestly.

“Alright, I see some mommies and daddies outside waiting,” Louis says, looking at the glass wall and giving a wave to the parents looking in. “Remember, we don’t have class for the next two weeks because of Christmas and New Years. I’ll see you all next year, and I hope you have a very merry Christmas. I even bought you all candy canes.”

All the girls gasp and squeal as Louis pulls out a bag full of candy canes with tiny stuffed penguins attached to them. He smiles wide as he passes them all out, bidding them all goodbye. He gives one to Mia last, planting a wet kiss on her cheek and making her giggle.

“Have any extras for me?” Harry asks, walking over to them. Louis’ smile instantly softens. 

“I may, but only if you were good this year. What do you think, Mia? Was papa a good boy?” Louis asks, putting his hands on his hips and looking at his daughter.

“Papa was good,” she nods, unwrapping her own candy cane and putting it in her mouth. 

“Ah, if Mia thinks so, it must be true,” Louis grins, handing a candy cane over to Harry. “Hello, my baby,” he coos, taking Ethan into his arms. 

“We missed you,” Harry says. “Figured we’d catch a head start and meet you here.”

“I missed you, too,” Louis says, nuzzling his nose against Ethan’s soft cheek and kissing his forehead. “Wasn’t too much trouble today?”

“Nah, no issues. Slept pretty late today, so he should be well rested.”

“Perfect, so my little man is ready for our big day,” Louis makes a funny face, bouncing Ethan on his hip and making the toddler giggle and petting Louis’ neatly shaven cheek. 

“Can we go now?” Mia whines. “I want hot chocolate now.”

“I do too,” Louis pouts. “Lots of marshmallows.”

“Yes, kids,” Harry laughs. “Hot chocolate. Let’s go.”  
~  
“I’ll go put her down,” Harry whispers as they walk into the dim-light house, carrying a sleeping Mia in her arms.

“I’ll put Ethan down,” Louis whispers back, holding Ethan’s back gently and feeling his soft breath against his neck. They walk up the stairs side by side, each with a child in their arms. 

Harry puts Mia down as gently as he can, but her eyes flutter open. “Papa?”

“Shh, sweetie. Go back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” Harry whispers, kissing her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Papa,” she yawns, falling right back to sleep. Harry smiles, tucking her in properly and turning on her nightlight. 

He walks into his own bedroom and sees Louis yawning, pulling on his Christmas pajama pants with penguins and snowmen that Harry got for the both of them, deciding to match for Christmas. 

“Tired?”

“Very,” Louis sighs, walking over to Harry and wrapping his arms around Harry’s middle. “You?”

“Same,” Harry says, putting his head on Louis’. “Have fun today?”

“So much,” Louis smiles tiredly. “Miss it.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s your home.”

“No,” Louis says, looking up at Harry and putting his hand over Harry’s heart. “This is home.”


End file.
